From the perfect start

Chapter 39- Everything is fine

A foul disturbance begins to rise, a wretched presence, an unwelcome guest. It creeps like a shadow, foul and unkind. An unwelcome intrusion that lingers in the mind, a bitter reminder of the body's plight, a repulsive flavor that stains the night.

I am pressing my thighs harder down, my untrained legs giving in but I only notice the shaking when I can feel a larger hand closing around it firm but gently calming it down. Just a soft slide, a kind but concerned look.

Goosebumps arise as he gently strokes his thumb over the thin fabric covering my flesh. I swallow down, trying to forget how it makes me feel as I realize he took his ring off with the sharp engraving so my silk doesn't rip. How can this brutal man be so gentle?

Why do I even notice those little things while I am in so much agony? Maybe because for some reason at this moment it doesn't seem like he is just my project partner but my rock solid, showing me without words the way back to myself?
Oh, Kaden.

I swallow down the lump in my throat and the next moments only linger on my mind. Until the last goodbye. Until I am walking through the door, then Elizabeth closes it behind us.

The slow steps he takes from behind me tell me that he reads me like an open book. And I am just begging that he doesn't come closer to see my face. The shingles beneath my feet reflect the contrasting emotions swirling within me. Each step I take feels like treading upon a minefield of broken trust and shattered innocence.
Every pebble seems to whisper reminders of the abuse I have endured, clinging to my thoughts like haunting echoes. The weight of my sadness lingers, intertwining with the relief I feel for the children's safety. A bittersweet realization.
I gulp down and turn around with my arms crossed, my stance straightening up.

"You know where a party is tomorrow?" I ask in a calm voice looking into his face so he doesn't think I am avoiding him.

"I always know where the parties are." He replies, with a knowing grin as he steps closer to me.

"Well, then let's go together. We are just friends, he can't do anything against that." I reply, my eyes wandering upwards as he moves so close our bodies almost brush against each other.

Warmth radiates from his body so I have the urge to lean into him and hug him forever.
Such a calm aura that as he lifts his hand upwards to brush a strand of hair out of my face, I don't flinch. I don't even wince while absorbing his movements.

"That's not the problem here, no. But it is a reason more to not tell you because I know you can protect yourself but I am not so sure you want to be safe."

"You think I won't find anything to drink if you don't tell me? It was just a question."
He looks down at me with those brown eyes, I could stare forever. Like pools of warm chocolate, draw you in with their depth and allure. Each iris, a canvas of rich earthy hues, radiates a sense of mystery and tenderness. The color dances between shades of dark mahogany and soft caramel, captivating anyone who gazes into them. Within those eyes, a myriad of emotions swirls, like whispers of secrets waiting to be discovered. Flecks of gold and amber add a touch of warmth and light as if reflecting the flickering flames of a cozy hearth on a winter's night.
His cheeks keep forming wrinkles almost dimples that brush off my anxiety.

"I know I just hope you listen to your advice. A young wise lady told me to never drink when you are sad and I don't support this behaviour in others either."
"I am not sad." I bring out a strong voice. Believing it myself?

I straighten myself up. "Oh, I get it. Do you want to read me again? Well, then look in my face." I raise an eyebrow at him taking another step closer until we are so immediate our lips are almost brushing.
I teasingly move my face a little so our noses brush against each other slightly.
He rolls his eyes and shakes his head in amusement.

"You are trying to distract me, Ally." He says with a serious tone but his eyes look painfully longing for my lips. As if they are pulling him to his, a little breath coming out f his mouth, when I open my lips again a bit, acting like I would go in for a kiss. A smirk pulls to my lips because I know how much I am torturing him. His hand grabs around my wrists and he brings them to our chests.
"What are you so scared of, huh?"

"I' m not..." He shakes his head, his grip on my wrists tightening just a slight amount, but not anyway near hurting me.

"Of course you are. What is it? My brother?" I bite down on my bottom lip to hide my smile.

"Or are you so scared of yourself? Or of me? Of what I could do to you?" I whisper the last part.

"Maybe I just don't want you?"

"That he throws you out of that stupid fighti-" And then he puts his index finger to my lips and shushes me.
"Shut up." He hisses.

I let out a laugh and then take a step away.

We look at each other for a moment, no one saying a word before I narrow my eyes.

"Don't do that. Don't ever do that again."
His mouth opens before closing again.

"You are right. I wasn't raised to shush a woman. I am sorry, I won't do it again." He says, honesty in his eyes, as he raises his arms in the air.

"You better keep that promise, then I will stick to mine." I add the last part to make clear this respect is a two-way street.
"Ally?"
"Mhm?" I look up from my hands fidgeting.

"I will do anything that you feel better. Believe me that. If I have to write you a poem or fly Taylor Swift in for a private concert, then ur wish is my command. I won't care because I want to feel better."
I let out a laugh.

"Yeah, right. Fly Taylor Swift in. I honestly think that would solve all of my problems."  I state with complete sincerity in my voice.

I let out a sigh. "Kaden. The kids are good. I was wrong and I am happy. I was worried and I was furious and terrified when I was sure of them being hurt." I step forward again and fold my hands together in front of my face.

"I was ready to kill this woman... and her husband but she is innocent. They are fine, Kaden. They are fine." My voice breaks with the last word.

"They are fine, Ally. But you are not." I shake my head at his statement.

I let out an exhale and bury my face in my hands.
"How can I prove to you that I am fine?"

"Become fine." He tilts his head to the side, his big eyes, giving me the comfort I need.

"You don't have to prove me anything. We are not a couple. God, are we even friends? But your suffering is the last of things I want to happen.
"Why?"

"Your brother would kill me if he would know to which parties I brought you. The stuff you took in front of me, I shouldn't have let that happen, not while knowing what medication you take. Just because a decent human being wouldn't have done that. I made my mistakes. And I want to make the things I've said all right. Do you understand?"
I nod.

"I am sorry for all the hurtful things I have said. I know I am harsh sometimes. But you-"

"I can be a fucking asshole but I can be nice to you, just promise me not to talk about the ring. About the fighting. You are adventurous but trust me, some things you don't want to know. It's way worse than what you have seen." He states, not looking into my eyes anymore.

I nod even though I would die to know every little secret. This little detective inside me doesn't sleep.

"I forgot my scarf inside. I have to go back inside. Do you want to tag along, or are you ok waiting here? I promise I will be out in a moment."

"No, go. I am ok."
He looks in my face for any concern but as he is happy with my expression he turns around and walks back to the house. The lanterns lighten his way back to the house.