A Ghost Encounter: My Time with Simon "Ghost" Riley

Part Sixteen: The Beginning

Stop it, Breanna. Don't think like that. It'll be okay. It has to be okay.

Ghost notices I'm spacing out.

"Breanna?" He says sternly.

"What?" I shift my gaze to meet his.

"Are you even listening?" He huffs.

"Y-yeah sorry."

That was embarrassing...

"What's wrong?" Concern laces his tone and he crosses his arms.

"Nothing," I respond dismissively.

I just know he's frowning under his mask, unsatisfied with my response, but continues reviewing the plan.

After a while I notice myself spacing out and worrying about the mission again.

What if Hassan tries to have sex with me? What if I'm so nervous I can't be sexy? What if I get a flashback of my stepfather? What if I blow the mission? What if I have a panic attack? What if-

I feel hands on my shoulders and I'm brought back to reality.

"Breanna." Ghost shakes me firmly.

Shit...

"I-I'm sorry," I stammer, clearly flustered.

"What's. Wrong?" He enunciates.

"Nothing."

"You're crying." He sounds concerned.

Huh? I am?

I wipe my cheek and it's wet. Dammit.

Just play it off.

"I'm fine really," I chuckle nervously.

"Enough," Ghost says dead serious. There's a hint of frustration in his tone. "What's wrong?"

He looks me deep in my eyes.

Fuck.

"It's stupid. I'm stupid...I just..." I sigh deeply. "I'm just thinking about what you said. About me maybe not being ready for this mission. I mean what if I do fuck up, you know?" I shrug.

Ghost removes his grip from my shoulders and stares, waiting for me to continue.

"Like what if I choke? This is gonna sound really stupid but I can't help but think about strange men lustfully watching me or touching me. I mean what if I can't handle the touch and I freak out? Whenever men touch me I usually get flashbacks of my stepfather. And what if that happens with Hassan?" I'm rambling, panicked.

I feel a lump in my throat and tears welling in my eyes.

"I don't want to mess this whole thing up because I'm stupid and can't get over the stuff with my stepfather and-"

Before I can finish my panicked ramble Ghost softly places his hand over my mouth and quietly shushes me.

He puts his gloved hand on my cheek and wipes away my tears.

"You're not stupid. You're going to be okay. I trust in you." He continues to gently rub my cheek.

That's all it took to calm my nerves.

"You're strong. You know that right?"

Me? Strong?

I chuckle softly and say playfully, "Don't hype me up too much."

"I'd never do that," he smirks.

We look into each other's eyes for a bit.

"Truly, though. You'll be fine," Ghost says in earnest.

"I appreciate that." I smile softly.

As I'm spending more time with Ghost, getting closer to him, I can't help but feel a sense of impending doom.

Consistency is not a common theme in my life.

Since childhood, everyone I've loved has either died or left me.

Falling for Ghost would be a bad idea. But it feels like that might be happening.

So I need to shut it down and shut it down quickly.

Ghost and I are too alike. We butt heads all the time. For the most part, he's cold and distant. He has been warming up to me, though...

But he's 100% dedicated to his job. There's a high chance we could get killed on this mission.

My mind is racing again.

Even if we do survive the mission Ghost doesn't really want to be with me. He knows some stuff about me but he doesn't really know me, because if he did he'd run away at the first chance he got.

There's no point in getting attached to him if it won't work out anyway, right?

But I like him.

Despite his hard shell, he can be soft and kind...

Stop it, Breanna.

It's not a good idea to go there.