Desirable (mxm)

twelve; advice

"And?"

"I caught him at the party we went to," I state after a few minutes. He's going to find out one way or another. "He was getting fucked by someone else."

His lips part and he blinks. "Shit. Really?"

"Really." I sigh.

"What has happened since?"

I shrug and lean onto the counter beside him. "Guess my insecurities have just heightened. He's been trying hard with me but I can't get that image out of my head. He likes sex, I never wanted anyone else to touch me until I found my mate. We have very different outlooks on life."

Elin frowns in my direction. "Sex isn't a bad thing. It's natural and we are werewolves."

"Werewolves who have fated mates. Why wouldn't you want to wait for them?"

He sucks in a breath and softens his expression. "I guess everyone is different. How are things between you now?"

My eyes flick to the wall. "I said I wanted to take things slow but I fear that I might not be good enough for him, or enough all together."

"Nate," Elin shakes his head. "You need to get out of your own head for a single second."

I blink once at his strong tone. "I can't."

He takes one step closer to me. "You can, my friend. You can." His hands rest gently on my shoulders. "You think meeting your mate is easy? Do you know how fucked up I was when I met, Zade? I couldn't even believe someone like him would want someone like me, but he does. We worked through my shit, we worked through his shit. I put aside all my insecurities because I knew they would drag me down."

I bite down on my bottom lip and continue to stare at Elin, forcing myself to inherit his words in some form or the other.

"But I could have listened to them," he waves his hand. "I could have told myself every day what I thought about myself but I didn't. I got up, I told myself what I was grateful for, I allowed Zade to help me find the person I am right now. Without him I'd be nothing, I'd still be in that pit, wallowing in self pity. Milo could help you just how Zade helped me."

My lips part for a second and I force air into my lungs. "The thought is scary," I admit quietly. "To be that vulnerable."

Elin's expression softens and he nods. "It is, I know. But it was the best choice I could have ever made, to finally trust, to open those doors and never look back. It's truly changed my life and I know he can change yours too. You need to have more confidence in yourself, more assurance. You're a catch, Nate. Do you know how many people used to ask about you?"

"What?" I blurt with wide eyes.

He chuckles softly and nods. "Literally all the time. Tall, broad shoulders, that luscious hair. Trust me, people had their eye on you. You are so much better than you think you are, Nate. You are amazing and kind and patient. You owe yourself happiness at least, don't ignore the best thing that could ever happen to you."

I can feel my heart hammer inside my chest. Maybe I have been too harsh on Milo in the past, it's obvious how hard he's been trying but honestly... I don't really know much about him. Probably because I never asked because being around him is like forcing myself not to go into cardiac arrest.

It's nearly impossible.

"Thanks, Elin," I say gratefully. "I appreciate that."

He offers me a warm smile. "It's okay to love yourself, you know that right?"

I say nothing but stare back at him again. My therapist has tried for years to get me to show myself an ounce of self love but I guess my stupid insecurities and flaws always manage to surface again.