A Ghost Encounter: My Time with Simon "Ghost" Riley

Part Ninety-Six: Secondary Succesion

He stands from the couch. "I do." But I want you to see me, see my vulnerability, is what he opted out of saying.

Changing the subject I say, "I'm ready. Let's get this over with."

We get inside his truck and begin the drive.

"You said you needed to stop somewhere," I say. "Where are we going?"

"It'll only take a second," he dismisses.

That doesn't answer my question but I don't have the energy to bitch about it.

After ten minutes we pull up to a park: I see sky-scraping trees, a variety of multicolored flowers, bushes of abundance, and sectioned-off walking trails.

"Why are we here?" I ask Simon as he shuts off the engine.

"I want to show you something." And the smile he gives me—the most beautiful smile in the world—makes my heart skip a beat.

Following his lead, I exit his truck and follow him deeper into the park until he stops at a cliff edge that looks down and out into an abundant forest filled with flowers, wildlife, and the sounds of life.

Taking in the vast and beautiful sight I start feeling emotional. Before I let those emotions override me I ask, "You wanted me to see this?" I make eye contact with Simon. "Why?" No judgment or anger lingers in my tone, simply curiosity.

"Everyday..." His voice breaks and his jaw clenches as he looks out into the forest. "Every day since I've been back from Las Almas I've come to this spot when all I could think about was you: how you're hurting. The utterly broken look on your face when I showed up at your door after all this time. The way that man at the bar had you pinned against the restroom wall..." He pauses to take a deep, steadying breath. "I've come here and thought about how my choices were the source of those things. I've spent countless hours pondering about what life would look like, what you and I would look like, had I not taken the mission in Las Almas..."

I can feel my eyes burning, begging me to release tears, but I hold firm and listen to his story.

"I wanted you to see this place and how full of life it is." He peels his gaze from the view and faces me now.

When his eyes meet mine I swear the whole world around us stopped.

I'm still in love with him, though I'm struggling to admit and accept that.

"I'm..." Simon scrunches his face as the tears begin to take shape. "I can't tell you how sorry I am, Breanna." He looks down ashamed, calms his breathing, and says, "When I first came to this park a ranger approached me and told me the story of this place. The ranger told me that there was a horrible wildfire here a couple of years ago..." Simon shifts his gaze back to the forest and all its life. "It burned everything in sight. But after being tended to by the wildlife, after being given a second chance, the parts of the forest that were lost grew back." He meets my gaze again, his voice trembling. "It grew into something more beautiful and more full of life than before."

Simon sees the tears falling from my eyes and he steps up to me and cups my cheeks with his hands, rubbing my tears with his thumbs.

"I've been where you are," he says empathetically. "So many times I've wallowed away in my misery. I hadn't been happy, or even remotely close to it, since..." he sighs deeply. "But when you showed up on your first day at the base, rough around the edges and asking me if I had a staring problem despite knowing my reputation and what I've done, it was the first time I felt alive in years."

It feels as though something inside me has reignited, something I haven't felt since I was told that Simon had been killed.

"And the more time I spent with you, getting to know you, despite our constant bickering—no, because of the playfulness and excitement of our bickering I felt genuinely happy," Simon confesses, smiling tenderly. "I have you to thank for that."

I chuckle through my tears and for the first time since he's returned, I let him see the love I have for him in my eyes.

His throat bobs in response.

"The things you've been through might have broken you, but they didn't destroy you. You're. Still. Here," he emphasizes. "And you're destined for more than this." Simon smiles with eyes full of tears. "We didn't show up at the bar to gang up on you or to hurt you. Everything I've done since returning has been to help you, to help you grow into the best version of you because I know you're strong enough to get there."

He pulls me into his warm embrace, and I don't resist—I'm so tired of resisting him.

It's all I've been doing since he returned, and since I found out the truth: pushing him away.

It's funny how I spent the entire past year begging the universe to bring him back to me, and when it did, I was ungrateful and spiteful.

Before continuing, Simon kisses the top of my head. "I love you, Breanna. I want you to be happy. I want you to feel alive again. I know you're angry with me, and that's more than alright, but let me do for you what you did for me all that time ago."

We hold each other in our embrace for a few moments. When we pull away from each other's grips, I see the look in Simon's eyes, the conviction, and love that shines through them and I know what I have to do.

Not for him, not for the Task Force, but for myself.

Simon always saw the good in me, my potential, and my inherent worth.

I've wasted so many years of my life feeling miserable about the things I never had; and the things that were taken from me. But right here, standing in front of me, is a man who'd give anything to see me flourish. A man, who despite all my wickedness and attempts to push him away, loves me more fiercely than I've ever known; than I've ever deserved.

So I lean up, cup the love of my life's face with both of my hands and pouring everything I am into it, I kiss him.