A Ghost Encounter: My Time with Simon "Ghost" Riley

Part Ninety-Eight: Yes

"Something like that," he dismisses with a nervous chuckle.

"Who's this?" Kaitlyn looks at me with a preppy smile.

Simon begins to speak but I cut him off.

"Breanna," I say and shake her hand.

"Are you two?" Kaitlin looks back and forth at us, her suggestion hanging in the air.

"Friends," I say curtly and when I look at Simon I can see worry in his eyes. I turn my attention back to Kaitlyn and say, "And you are?"

"Kaitlyn." She smiles. "Simon and I met at a bar maybe five months ago?" She looks to him for confirmation and he nods his head.

One month after he returned. After I found out he wasn't dead.

Simon looks uncomfortable.

"We have a movie to catch right?" We don't. But Simon looks like he might hurl.

"Right," he loosens a deep breath and gives me a grateful smile.

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Kaitlyn." I give her a fake smile and she returns one.

We finished getting our ice cream and went back into the car.

"I..." Simon starts but then bites down on his lip, cutting off his words.

"It's okay," I sigh, but then give him a soft smile. "You don't have to explain."

"It was only a couple of times." A muscle feathers in his jaw. "And it didn't-"

"Mean anything?" I finish his sentence. "Fucking her didn't mean anything?"

He lets out a deep sigh. "It didn't. I was angry after finding you with two different men and I knew you hated me at the moment. It was stupid of me," Simon confesses shamefully.

"I think it means something to her," I say, pausing for a moment. "It's obvious she has feelings for you even if you don't return them."

"Breanna..." he sighs again. "What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing," I deadpan and then contemplate for a moment. "I'm not upset, Simon. You walked in on me fucking a stranger at a bar..." I meet his gaze and his frown tells me he doesn't like rehearing that memory. "Listen, I'm not upset. I get it. It's not like we've been intimate or anything so..." I clear my throat, nervous. "I just want to know if you have feelings for her or anyone else." I finally let it out.

"What?" he asks, taken aback. "No, of course not. Why would you think that?"

"Because..." I bite my lip.

"When I say it meant nothing I mean it meant nothing. I was angry and lonely, and I needed..." Simon shakes his head, deciding not to voice his words. "Look, it doesn't matter. I have feelings for no one else." He gently grabs my hand. "I love you."

"I know." I softly squeeze his hand. "I just wanted to make sure."

"Why?"

I'm terrified to say it—that I want him. That I want to be with him forever and have a life with him. I'm terrified to open up and let my guard down again.

"Breanna." He gently cups my face and assesses it like he knows my mind is wandering. "Tell me, please."

So I take a deep and steadying breath, muster up all my courage, and say, "Because I want to be with you and I don't want anyone else to have you."

Simon tenses, his hand flinching against my cheek.

"Because I'm in love with you." I throw my hands up. "And I always have been. I want a life with you, Simon and that scares me but I want it anyway," I cry, my voice trembling, and my throat hoarse. "If you don't want those things I understand but I need you to know how I feel and I need to know if you don't feel the same way so I can move on." I meet his gaze that I've been avoiding. "And I'm tired of pretending like I don't want to have you inside of me every time I see you." I chuckle through my tears. "Because it's driving me crazy."