Deception | Sequel

Chapter Six: You're Lost Without Me

Mentally, I shake thoughts out and lay them out straight, kicked-up static and colored hues fluttering down around me as I do. Maybe she's right and I did leave her. I had been mentally unstable enough to blank myself. It could be true. It could be.

"Yes!" She clutches a hand over her heart, leaning forward. "Your heart is gold but you always struggle not to be swallowed by the evils of the world. I helped you stay on track, keep our eyes on the light. We helped each other do that. Don't you remember?" Her tone is almost pleading, an open palm for acknowledgement, a hint of recognition.

But it's not there. I don't remember, and I never will.

She swallows thickly. "We promised to keep each other straight because we do get lost without each other."

Her words sink skin and strike a chord on my heartstrings that vibrates a rich purple. I don't remember much of my past or childhood, but from the little I do recall, that sounds like something Younger Elias, Blank Slate, would promise.

Both their faces flicker into place behind my eyelids. Younger Elias stares at me with determination and conviction, his innocence not quite dulled and quenched by the rest of the world. Blank Slate has his mask on, two oval eyes and an empty smile projected onto his holomask. In a way, I have gotten lost without her. On that mission, I ended up blanking myself in desperation, got caught by the heroes, and becoming this, a literal blank slate.

Maybe this could be avoided if I'd stayed with her. Maybe things would have been different. Maybe... Wait. That would mean I'd still be a villain and would never have gotten to know David or reconnected with Edison. I'd still think that everyone I ever knew before hated me. I'd still be with her, being her girlfriend, being partners in crime.

That's not what I want. Not in the least bit. Pulling my gaze from her face, I stare at the holoTV and my warped reflection in it. The bags under my eyes are stretched beyond reality, seeming like tall shadows trying to tell the time, and my eyes sit above them, weary and strained. You have to keep it together, I tell my reflection. Don't let her get to you. She has mind control powers, remember? You can't trust a thing she says.

Unless, my reflection whispers back, she's already gotten to me. Unless she doesn't need me to trust what she says and has already messed with my mind.

The purple strands weaving around the edges of my mind glint as they slide back into obscurity, sending shivers of warning down my spine. I grit my teeth and pull my hands through my curls, shaking my head. No, she can't. I can still think, I know I am not a villain, and I still want to return home. And it's going to stay that way no matter how hard she tries.

I am not going to leave Edison again. I am not going to betray David thrice over. I am not going to never cuddle Skittles again, either. I will get out of here in one piece and so help me, I will blank things if that's what it's going to take.

Resolve hardening, I look at her. "Maybe once I did, but I don't remember that. I'm sorry." The apology is out of my mouth before I can swallow it back. Why did I say that? I am not sorry. She doesn't deserve a sorry but the anguish in her voice, the almost tears glistening in her eyes, the hurt obviously running deep is there. It's there because of what I did, what I chose, again. It's my fault again and...and maybe I am sorry for that.

Deception swipes at her face and steadies her voice. "No, I am. It's just been so long and I've been worried about you and now..." She shakes her head, drawing herself together. "No. You're different—you don't remember—I understand. But like I said, I will find you again. Even if we have to start from square one, I'll find you in there and everything can go back to how we wanted it."

"I'm not him anymore." I don't want what she wants, what a villain wants, anymore. Everything is different.

Deception pulls back the emotion leaking through the cracks in her facade, wraps it up and ties it in a bow with a faint smile that's more sad than comforting. "You are, somewhere deep down in there. I'll help you remember who you are."

I shake my head. "No, you don't understand. My memories are gone. Wiped, deleted. There's no getting them back."

Her smile falters, the purple flickering, then she's closing the distance between us and her arms are tightly wrapped around me, her body close—too close.

A gasp lodges in my throat as a jolt of ice hits my fingers. I freeze, acutely aware of the warmth radiating off of her, the strength of her grip, her breath just brushing past my ear. She's hugging me and it's—I can't—it's too—

"Then we'll just have to rebuild," she whispers, "and we'll make us even stronger."

A full body shudder cascades through me, a purple fog rolling in. The purple inside of me rushes forward in a tangle of vibrant shades, twisting around my bones, weaving around my tendons, flowing through my veins, and gathering into a slowly hardening ball deep inside of my mind. As it sinks into place, a soft click echoes in the emptiness.

Deception squeezes tight and lets go, stepping back. "Rest up; you've been through a lot. I'll be back with supper, okay? And if you want to talk before then, you have access to the holopanel by the door." She walks out of my view, and a few heartbeats later, the door swishes shut.

Faintly, I drop into the couch, the impression of her arms still wrapped around me. I...I need a game plan. And fast.