I Want You, Simon

Chapter 9

This was it, this was the moment. He could tell her everything right now, and make it all better. He had to choose his words carefully to make sure he said the right thi-

"Your voice. Sounds a little hoarse. That's a little concerning because you're a singer."

What?

Samira scoffs and returns to her phone. "I know how to take care of my voice," she said, louder than before.

Simon stands there in silence and self loathing, before he sits down on the couch, staring straight ahead. Samira glances up from her phone, perplexed, but doesn't say anything. They stay in those positions for a good while before Simon speaks.
"Hi," his voice is shaky again
"Hi," her pitch has dropped
Simon taps his legs not knowing what to say next.
"Do you have something to say?" Samira questioned, lowering her phone. Simon nods "Then speak."
He doesn't for a moment, but then it all comes out at once "I'm so sorry for last night. And for how I've been acting in general. Like I said there's been a lot on my mind. I know that's what everyone says, but it's true."
"So what's on your mind?" Her voice is gentle and understanding, which is not at all what he was expecting.
"I...." He wanted to say something, to tell her something but it was so hard to get the words out.
"Well.." She shifted in place to be facing him directly "We might as well talk about something, we have a while until you finish this." She gestures toward the pieces of wood on the floor.
Simon starts breathing heavily and quickly, why was this so hard to say? It was in that moment that he realized that he had never had to tell anyone these things before. They had either lived it with him or figured it out themselves. But there was no way for Samira to know these ways. He would have to tell her.
"Hey," she softened her voice and reached for his hand "It's okay. You don't have to tell me anything that you don't want to. But you can tell me anything that you do."
She put her hand on his back to calm him down, and it worked. His breathing slowed to a normal pace and he was able to speak again.
"I need to tell you about Betty."

And he did. He told her about his studies and how he got his PhD and studied to be an antiquarian, his intended search for magical artifacts. How he happened to give a lecture at one specific college and how that was one of the best decisions he's ever made because that is where he met a young woman who already admired his work. And how she went on to change his life. How she went with him to search for a very important book-The Enchiridion- and how on the expedition, they fell in love. He told her how Betty was his fiancé, and through perhaps his own careless mistakes and lack of consideration for her, allowed her to constantly put her desires on the back burner for his own, which may or may not have led him to finding the crown that would turn him into the Ice King. Not only cursing him with immortality and insanity, but also driving away Betty, or so he thought. He told her how he eventually found out that Betty had jumped through a time portal that he had opened in the future and then dedicated her entire existence to freeing him from this curse. Losing not only her own sanity, but also her sense of self. He told her that Betty was obsessed with getting him back to himself, at any cost. And he told her how it did cost, how it cost Betty herself and her own existence. He told her how Betty had summoned Golb to return him to his former self, and while it did what she was hoping for, the only way to keep him safe and remove Golb from this world was for her to merge with him and remove herself from this plane of existence.

He also told her of his multiversal travel with Fionna and Cake, how he had come to believe that he was not worthy of his own life, unless he was sacrificing it for someone else, how he met GolBetty on her plane, and was able reconcile with her inside of her new form, and how he was finally able to accept that they were not meant to be together forever, and that he was meant to just appreciate the time they'd had, and that his life was worth something. He told her how he'd accepted her and himself, but moving on was the next step he hadn't been able to do.
"Betty was the only one in my life for so long, I don't really know what to do in terms of opening myself up to someone else. Everytime I try to I feel guilty, like I shouldn't be because she would be upset with me. But logically I know that all she wanted was for me to live." Simon takes the first deep breath in the whole time it took him to say all of that. He waited for something. Some kind of disgust, confusion, or pity at all that he had laid down on the table. He had known Samira for a bit, but he didn't know what to expect from her next.