Love Misunderstood

I flush the toilet as I let go of my hair and stand up to brush my teeth to get the taste of sickness out of my mouth. Everything was going so well until he showed up, and to what? Show off that he is back in town. Just thinking of him makes me sick, literally and figuratively.

Drake Elton. I have been trying to avoid his presence and his name and existence for two years, and with Caden, I forgot about him completely, but I know there will be a part of me that isn't fully trusting of Caden, and Drake is to blame for that. I look at the clock and see that it is six thirty on the dot. I should get dinner started, hoping that Brody won't notice anything off with me.

Six hours earlier...

I've been in the library for ages to get this bloody assignment done, and I am exhausted, but every now and then I can feel eyes on me, and when I turn around, I notice I am only one of the few people in here. Weird. I must be tired from working a lot.

I get up to look at some books to research and drag my hand along the spines of the books; it always makes me feel at ease.

I scan a few books, and as I reach for one to pull out, I look through the shelves to a pair of dark Blue eyes I know all too well are only focused on mine. My heart immediately began to race, my breath quickened, and I shoved the book back, blocking the pair of eyes burning into my face. I walked slowly to the end of the aisle when I poked my head round the corner to see it completely empty, silent like nobody was there. Had I been imagining it? The past is coming in floods, and all too quickly I get unwanted thoughts and previous actions I once took, and suddenly I get a wave of uneasiness in my stomach and leg it to the closest bathroom and throw up.

I decide to head to the canteen to get a drink to refresh my mouth and get my body temperature back to normal. Everything I have been trying to block out is coming back.

I look down the hall at Clara and Caitlin; it feels like forever since I have seen them. They are as in love as ever. As they look at each other, I wonder if I and Caden look like that. I don't know what Caden and I are, but we are obviously past the friendship stage. I just hope we can take things slow.

Well, I say slow, and my dad caught me and Caden in my room last week during a private moment between the two of us, and dad saw right through us. That was extremely humiliating; I mentally smacked my hand to my forehead thinking back on it.

But once there was a boy who looked at me like I was his whole world just to realise it was all an act, even if I claimed there was nobody before Caden, I was determined to keep it a secret. Just the thought of the prick gave me chills. Wow, I haven't thought about him in a long time. And I hope I won't again for a while.

"Hey," Clara states while smiling, knocking me out of my daydream.

"Hi," I reply.

"What's up?" Caitlin adds. "You look lost in thought." I try to think of a quick excuse, so I just go with what I was originally thinking. "You caught me; you two look so cute together."

"Well, we should; today is our three-month anniversary." Caitlin fills me in, and I look to Clara, whose smile has vanished and watching me too intensely, looking in a way I can't decipher.

"Congratulations guys, wow, how the time flies. I didn't realise that these three months went so fast."

"Yeah, me neither." Caitlin looks at her watch, and her eyes widen like she just found out that her favourite show has been cancelled. "Oh, crap, I am going to be late for class. See you later, Lacey, and I'll see you after class, babe?" I looked hopeful at Clara, whose eyes were still locked on me.

"Yeah, I'll see you then," she says, looking Caitlin's way quickly, and then as soon as she walks away, Clara blurts it out.

"you liar"

"I'm sorry?" I'm confused. "What did I lie about?"

"Oh, please," she waving her arms around, "I know you better than you know yourself." What were you really thinking about when we walked up to you? I can tell it's bothering you."

Damn! She's good.

"Honestly?" she nodded. "Too many things are on my mind, and please don't be mad, but my mind kind of went to Drake and-" before I can continue, I see a shoved hand in my face.

"WAIT!" She looks even more angry now that I've mentioned him. Some peoples head turn to our table and I duck my head down. "You mean to tell me that the asshole that treated you like shit just happened to get into your head?" I opened my mouth to respond. "Have you seen him? Is he back in town? Something must have triggered you to think of that asshole, especially when you are in such a good place without him now."

She scrunches her hands up into balls, and I can see her nails digging into her skin.

Did I mention that Clara isn't his biggest fan?

Clara is the only one who knows what happened between me and the prick, and I know she won't say anything. She is there for me, and that's why I love her.

"After what he did to you, I am amazed I haven't buried him alive." It's a bit of an exaggeration on her part, but I understand why. I go back down trauma lane and remind myself why I am angry and upset with him.

A few years ago, Drake joined our school. Clara and I were heading to college after that year in school was up, and he met me through Clara. He was so sweet to me, and it was obvious all the girls were obsessed, and within days he was the most popular guy in school.

The more times we spent together, whether that be at Clara's house or the school field for lunch, there was never a dull moment between us, and after a few weeks, I realised I had a crush on him. He had dark hair and the attitude of "not giving a shit," and to me, that was hot.

Back then, I was still figuring things out like my weight, if I liked alcohol (I didn't and still don't), and what I liked to wear. I noticed that all the girls that made Drake's head turn were the size zero Barbie model type girls.

I had no chance, but for some stupid, naive reason, I believed I had a shot. I had this crush on him for six months before I decided to tell him I liked him, and without waiting for an answer, I ran down the hallway to my next class.

The next day he said to meet him outside by the field, and I was shitting it walking to him. All these thoughts in my head are tormenting me.

Was he going to reject me? What was wrong with me? I never had a chance anyway; I'm not a Barbie girl.

But what he said shocked me; he said he felt the same, and I was on top of the world. I was only sixteen and new to all this, so of course there was a lot to learn.