Desirable (mxm)

fifty-one; i'm sorry

Please. I beg in my mind.

"Very well," he sighs, his eyes glancing over at me before he starts coughing. "Tomorrow at ten o'clock"

I look over at Imogen and give her a grateful smile, her eyes gleam back at me. We exit Leon's office and I approach the kitchen, needing some food for the first time today. I couldn't stomach any breakfast but I could pick at something at least.

As I reach for an apple Imogen stops beside me. "Want to go for a walk?" She asks.

"No thanks," I admit.

Her lips swish to one side. "You sure? I know some fresh air might do you some good."

"I'm alright," I say as I bite into the apple and the flavour bursts across my tongue. "Thank you though."

Imogen nods and walks out of the kitchen. I open the back door and perch on the last step of the decking, glancing out across the tall trees and the clearing. I'm not sure my body could hack a walk right now, especially knowing we have training later. That's going to take up all of my energy and I'm going to need it.

I feel a presence behind me, I already know it's Viola without needing to look. She takes a seat beside me as I munch on my green apple. Neither of us say anything for a while, I know she's trying to keep me company without bombarding me with affection.

It might be because we're twins and we feel the same things. I once believed when she was sad, I felt sad too. But then I realised knowing that she's sad would automatically make me sad, because I care about her.

Right now it's obvious the aura between us is low–and not just because of Milo.

"So Haze hasn't come back for a while." She states.

My brows crease as I swallow the apple. "Who?"

A sigh leaves her mouth. "My mate."

"Oh," I look down at our feet, I didn't even know his name. "I'm sorry."

"I was expecting it," she huffs. "I'm confused. It seemed like he really wanted to make a change but when I mentioned bringing him in to see his true intentions, he never came back."

I twist my head and look at my sister, her eyes are focused on the trees and it's obvious how devastated she is about it. "Then he doesn't deserve you," I tell her truthfully.

Viola turns to face me and offers me a small smile. "I'm sorry for bringing it up when I know you have other shit going on."

"You don't need to apologise," I say. "You can tell me anything, no matter what I'm going through. We're family, it always matters."

She nods once. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm not," I rasp and throw the core of the apple as far as I can. "I'm putting on a brave face for everyone because if I don't, I'll be a mess and I've got shit to do with my new Alpha title."

"I'm proud of you," she places a hand on my shoulder. "I know this is hard for you and I wish you didn't have to hide how you feel."

I suck in such a big breath that my lungs almost explode. "It's doing me a favour, at least I'm keeping busy."

Viola draws me into a hug and I allow her. "He'll come back, Nate. They always do."

"Says who?"

"All the romance movies I watch."

Her optimism makes me smile. "That's the difference, my life isn't a movie."

"No..." she trails off. "But you're made for each other which means you'll always find your way back to one another."