Finding Forever

Chapter 17

She hears my thoughts and says, "Did Ryan not tell you? He texted me right after Spring Break, and we finally talked. We're back together. Thank you so much for convincing him to give us a second chance." 

What the -?

Ryan's eyes lock with mine, panic rushing through them. I clench my jaw and turn away, pushing through the crowd. I need to get out of here.

I make my way quickly through the swarm of people, ignoring Ryan as he shouts out my name until I'm outside on the pavement and feel a firm hand on my forearm.

"Ella, stop."

His voice sends a jolt through me.

My heart feels like it's exploded in my chest, and I can barely stand on two feet without feeling like I'm going to collapse into a pile of tears. But I take a deep breath and straighten my shoulders, turning to face him.

"What the hell do you want?" I shout at him, pulling my arm free from his grasp.

Looking up at his face, I can see confusion in his eyes. Running his hands through his hair, he glances around uncomfortably.  "I – I don't know. You're the one who showed up here looking like a hot mess. Then stormed out like a lunatic."

"I wanted to talk to you. To tell you – "I stop myself, feeling my voice shake. "I'm glad to see you here with her – clearly you are over what happened between us, took my advice and are back together with Alodie, and that's -" I pause, sucking back a breath. "- that's great. Good for you. I hope you are happy."

I turn to leave but once again stop when he grabs my arm.

"Let. Go."

"Tell me why you came here," he demands, voice low. 

"What does it even matter?" I shout, tears welling up in my eyes. 

"You're right, it doesn't," he exhales heavily, shaking his head. "You're fucking unbelievable, Ella. You took off from Newport Beach without so much as a goodbye. You've been purposely avoiding me. And I know it's because you are still fucking around with Liam. So yeah, I guess there is nothing left to say. But don't storm into a bar and run out on me when you're acting like – "he pauses and rethinks his words. "Like a jealous ex-girlfriend."

Our argument begins attracting attention from people entering and exiting the bar.

"Fuck you, Ryan," I shout, voice quivering. "Maybe you should get your facts straight. I've been avoiding you because you are an asshole. Not because I am fucking around with Liam. Or anybody, for that matter." I am so angry I'm shaking. "And then, because I don't say goodbye, you run back to Alodie?"

He arrogantly laughs, running a hand through his hair. He was almost mystified that I even dared to question him. "What was I supposed to think, Ella? Liam's been avoiding me, too, and he sneaks off from the apartment every night without so much as a word. I'm not stupid, you know."

We stand there staring at each other as I let his words sink in.

"You think that I'm seeing Liam?" I shout, tears in my eyes. "You think I've been avoiding you for an entire week and ran down here looking like this because of fucking Thor?"

"Jesus, Ella. Calm down." He shifts his eyes around.

"You know what, it doesn't even matter what you think. This was a mistake, just like we were a mistake, right?"

Realization dawns on his face. "Is that what this is about? Fuck, Ella. I just panicked. I was playing it cool in front of Maisie and – "

"Stop," I hold up my hand.

"Ella, come on," He pleads, moving closer, and his scent – like sandalwood shampoo and soap – washes over me. He brushes loose strands of hair that have fallen out of my messy bun over my shoulder, and his soft lips whisper against mine. "You came here to talk, so let's talk."

I shove him away. "No. I can't – I let myself forget you're a fucking player. I just never thought I'd be stupid enough to fall for it," I turn away from him. "Go back to Alodie and just leave me alone."

"Ella, please – "his voice echoes in the distance.

Tears stream down my cheeks as I move quickly down the sidewalk. But this time, he doesn't follow.

"Ella!" Maisie's voice shouts from behind me. I can hear her shouting at Ryan, telling him he's an asshole, and asking him what he said to me before she catches up to my quick stride.

She doesn't say anything as she follows me back into our apartment. And when I collapse on my bed, crying uncontrollably, she still doesn't say anything. She lays beside me, letting me release my agony into my pillow until I finally drift off to sleep.