our delicate string | ???

22: nothing's new.

Beomgyu placed his earbuds in and continued to walk home, feeling out of place.

[ 🎨 ]

"you guys, don't be upset when i win." Yeonjun fake yawned as the five huddled up at the claw machine.

"i don't care who wins, i just want the stuffed animal." Beomgyu concentrated on Yeonjun's navigation of the claw.

after his failure, he let out a scream, allowing Taehyun from behind him to try as well. after dozens of failed attempts and lost tokens, the boys finally won one stuffed animal key chain by the help of Soobin.

"let's play basketball!" Hyuka ran as they all soon followed.

the boys all ran from behind him, shooting three pointers and moving on to a bunch of different games. the arcade wasn't too crowded, thankfully, so the boys could just be goofballs running around and scoring tickets to use on prizes later on.

"wait Beomgyu, play this racer game with me." Soobin called as the others were busy with the indoor soccer tournament.

"oh, you're getting crushed."

and so, the rivalry began between the two to see who could steer the fastest and the best. they were head to head until Beomgyu took the lead and won against the pouty black haired boy next to him.

maybe the boys were right. it did help Beomgyu take his mind off of things for a few hours. yes, he still felt odd and he also felt guilty for letting that pain just go away for a while.

he just wanted to be happy, but he didn't know what was paining him so badly.

[ 🎨 ]

"so, how was school and the arcade?" his mother said from the counter, picking up dishes to place on the dinner table to eat.

"it was good." Beomgyu half-heartedly replied, picking up his fork and placing the food on his plate.

"i was thinking we should try out the new bakery downtown." his mother did the same. "my friend owns it."

"that sounds nice."

she placed her fork down and crossed her arms. "are you alright? you aren't responding like you normally do. in fact, you haven't for the past few weeks."

"i just." the boy sighed. "i don't even know. i have this weird pit in my stomach and i have no idea why. it's been like this for weeks and there's this empty space that i don't know how to fill." he placed his fork down and laid his head in his hands. "nobody even gets it."

"did you recently lose interest in a hobby? a show?" his mother tried to make up excuses. "you know, i always feel like that for a couple of days when a show i've loved for a while ends."

"no, it wasn't that." he jut his tongue to the inside of his mouth.

"did you lose somebody important to you?"

Beomgyu sat with his eyebrows ruffled. he stared off into space and thought for a bit, deeply into what his mother asked. could he have lost somebody?

"but if i have this pit in my stomach, how could i have forgotten them so easily?"

"i don't know." his mother contemplated. "sometimes life is like that. completely unexplainable for most of the thoughts we have to tackle. they especially don't make sense when you try to explain them to somebody."

"you're telling me." he sighed. "i need to figure out the cause of it because it's killing me."

"you will, trust me."

they sat and ate. "oh, by the way." his mother broke the silence. "i didn't know you write in a diary. i've been trying to get you to journal your feelings for so long but you never listened."

"i don't have one." he muttered with furrowed brows.

"it was on your nightstand when i was grabbing your laundry basket. don't worry, i didn't read it if that's what you're worried about. i just saw it and thought i'd compliment you."

a diary that i didn't even own?

what?