infinite x YOU!!!!! (Infinite x reader)

chapter 11

Why me? Why would he choose me?

You stopped and looked down into the sink, where you noticed tears spilling into the drain. You sniffled and wiped your face. You turned on the tap water from the sink, cupped your hands, and splashed your face with the freezing water, hoping that would stop the painful thoughts, and at the very least stop the tears.

You began to take shaky deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down. Why am i sobbing? You asked yourself. You thought it stupid to be crying over a boy, it seemed that was a thing of middle school. But no, you didn't believe that was the whole reason. so why were you getting so emotional?

Your trembling hands splashed water onto the dried wound on your shoulder, that washed off the remaining blood. Then, you bandaged it up. You refused to look in the mirror anymore.

The bed looked so cozy. You collapsed into it, hugging a pillow close to you. To your surprise, you noticed you were sobbing yet again. The pillow was damp from your tears, you clung to it like it would slip away any moment.

Sleep did not come. No matter how much you tried pushing all the thoughts away, they would pry their way right back in. thankfully, the tears had stopped and begun drying on the pillow.

Your mind fought against sleep, no matter how badly you wanted it. Eventually, the release of sleep came. You slipped deeper and deeper into slumber.

In your dream, there seemed to be an interesting subject; Infinite.

Infinites POV

I put my phone in my pocket, and finished my meal.

I decided on a bit of stress relief before going to sleep. I grasped a liquor bottle in my hands, pouring a generous amount into a glass.

This would sure help me take my mind off of things. Its not like a bit of alcohol could hurt anyone, right? Plus, i wouldn't get too drunk tonight, considering i had a relatively important mission to clear tomorrow if i wanted to gain Eggmans trust back.

I made a promise to myselft that i wouldn't mess it up tomorrow.

I guess I had finally screwed up and failed the mission today. I wont lie to myself, i knew damn well it was entirely my fault. The fact that i just couldn't control myself had me shamed. I just wanted to feel a different feeling for once, other than... the all too familiar emptiness that had made a home in my mind.

Now I'm home and I miss that girl.

The alcohol seemed to have kicked in... my thought began more clouded and fuzzy. I was even having a bit of trouble recalling my encounter with the other jackal.

I shuffled my way to the bathroom to clean myself up. I stared into the mirror. I resented my face, the way that ugly scar was permanently painted onto my face.

I was disgusted at how my eyes looked. I hated how they were two different colors, why did they have to differ from everyone else? I would like them much better if they were just one color.

Everytime i looked in the mirror, it just reminded me of how i could never be anything like the others. Sometimes, i even caught myself thinking of how much better Sonic, my rival, is than me.

The way he seemed to be too perfect. no matter how hard i tried to change i could never be anything like him. He never fell short on his missions, and always proved to be worthy of his great reputation.

Nobody would ever think that way of me. All they would think is how i am a cold hearted monster who wants nothing but to see others suffer. That couldn't be further from the truth. I may have a bitter shell around me, that does not tell who i am.

What had shocked me today is how Y/N had acted. At first, it was blatantly obvious that she was fearful of me. Just like everyone else, they expected me to take their lives without a second thought. That must have been why she was the first to attack me. I had no intent of hurting her, and you couldn't imagine the guilt i felt when i had injured her like that.

She was unworthy of me. I bet she for forces myself onto her like that. She was clearly uncomfortable at first, what had caught off guard is how empathetic she was.

When she held my hand, when she told me she understood my feelings, it all had me feeling as if she didn't see me as a monster as all the others did.

I pulled myself back to reality, and began treating my wounds. She must have been disgusted them, to see my body so damaged, far from perfect. No matter how much i tried to make my body more appealing, the scars would always be there, forever reminding me the despair from the war.

I washed my wounds and began to bandage them up. The ones that she had given me, the scratches and bite marks.

I collapsed onto my bed, exhausted from the day despite the lack of fighting.

I closed my eyes, and sleep was quick to welcome me thanks to the alcohol I had drank earlier.