Fractured

THEODORA POV

As the Hogwarts Express finally cleared my blurry vision, I pulled my sleeve up to my face and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I didn't want to let Cordelia see me cry. She had plenty of her own emotions to deal with today, and surely she didn't need mine hovering over them. Ominis and Garreth were off having a discussion I couldn't make out, but of course Poppy knew today would be hard for me. She had been my best friend, after all. You spend fourteen years being close with someone and eventually they come to know you better than you know yourself.

"She's gonna be okay, you know?" Poppy said, laying her head on my shoulder. Hogwarts was the safest place for her to be, of course I knew she was going to be fine. Nonetheless, I still needed my voice of reason to pull my head back down from the clouds when it flew too high at times. "I know, Pop, it's just going to be hard for me is all". "Why don't we head to The Leaky Cauldron for some Butterbeers, and maybe we can talk about it?" she asked softly. Not like I had a choice in the matter, though. I could hide my emotions from my daughter, sure, but never from my best friend. I nodded, "Yeah, okay. That sounds nice".

Ominis began walking over to us. Overhearing our conversation, he began apologizing for not being able to join us. Apparently he had been summoned to the Ministry for some work related matters. "It's alright, Om. I think a day with Poppy might do me some good anyways." He shot me a smile from the corner of his mouth and nodded. I had been suffocating myself with work for weeks, as a means to distract myself from my mind. And no matter how many times he encouraged me to take a break from it all, I was too stubborn to comply. "Make sure she has time to rest at some point, please. She hasn't been sleeping well lately, and Merlin knows she needs it." Ominis said with a somber tone. I adored the fact that Ominis always had my best interest in mind. He had come such a long way from being the closed off boy I met over a decade ago. "You have my word" was all Poppy responded with. Ominis hugged us girls goodbye, shook hands with Garreth and apparated away from us. "How about you, babe?" Poppy asked, as Garreth rejoined us. "Would you like to have some drinks with us?" "I'd love to- but today's deliveries have me booked. You girls have fun, though." he said, kissing Poppy goodbye. I wrapped my arms around him, said my farewell, and he disappeared into the crowd around us.

---------------------------------------------------------

"Two Butterbeers" the barkeep said, placing our glasses in front of us. We thanked him and walked over to a vacant table that was hiding in the corner. "So what's really going on with you, hm?" Poppy asked. I brought my glass to my lips, chugging it entirely before replying. Poppy stared at me blankly as she raised an eyebrow. "That good, huh?" All I could do was shrug my shoulders. "I've just been a mess lately, Pop. I have always waited for the day our kids could experience school the way that we did, but I guess I had forgotten how much of my time as a student was spent in pain.. I don't want that for her." I said.

"And what makes you think she would find pain? She has the twins, Natty, Headmaster Weasley and all the others watching over her." Poppy said, trying to comfort me. "I know, but I had plenty of people looking out for me too, and look how that ended.." I needed another drink. Now.

I returned to the table, this time with several drinks at my disposal. I wasn't wanting to get smashed per se, but if Ominis wanted me to relax and Poppy was going to pull it out of me no matter what I did, I might as well make it easier for her. "Theodora Spencer" Poppy began, placing her hand on mine. "You are the strongest person I have ever met, and I mean that. Truly! I will never pretend to know what it took to overcome the things that you did, but look at how far you've come between then and now - it doesn't matter how you did it, just that you did." A single tear crept out the corner of my eye and fell down my cheek. The how did matter, though. To me, anyway. Had it not been for Poppy, and Ominis letting me back into his life, I wouldn't have the family that I had today. "I appreciate your sentiment, thank you." I said, wiping the tear from my face. I took another drink, this time enjoying it.

"And what's this I hear about you not sleeping well? Poppy asked. "Is it because you're working so much?" I shook my head. While I was working more than usual these last couple of weeks, that wasn't the thing keeping me from a good night's rest. "Well, then what is it?" I threw another Butterbeer back. I could barely bring myself to think about the thing keeping me up at night, let alone having to say it out loud. "It-It's.. I.." I sighed and paused for a moment, closing my eyes. You can do this, Theo. Get it out. It's eating you alive, I thought to myself. "It's Sebastian.." I sputtered out. "Theo, nobody's seen or heard from him in YEARS. I don't even think he's still alive" she said. "I know, I know" I mumbled, "I haven't thought about him in so long, but lately.. I've found myself wishing that he was here. With me. With Coco."

Her eyes began to swell. If anyone knew how much my guilt of not telling my daughter why she didn't have a father like the rest of the kids weighed, it was Poppy Weasley. "How long has it been since she asked last?" she asked, taking another swig of her drink. "Actually, it's been a couple of months. Ominis does a really good job of filling that void for her, and I don't know what I would do without him through this process." If there was anyone that had both my deepest condolences and sincerest gratitude, it was Ominis Gaunt.

After cutting all ties from the Gaunt family, Ominis decided that he wanted to build his own version of it. A better version. One that was filled with happiness and love, not hatred and darkness. He was so desperate for a new beginning after all the pain he suffered at the hands of his own, and thought if only he had a child, he would give them everything he wished he had as a boy. However, him and Natty had not been very successful in that department. Over the years, they experienced several losses of children. For reasons doctors couldn't explain, Natty's pregnancies never lasted very long. And while it weighed on them both tremendously, their love for each other never faltered. Cordelia seemed to fill that void for them, though. And if that was how I repaid them for the years of helping me raise her, I'd call that a fair trade.

"Not being asked definitely helps it stay out of the forefront of my mind, but he's been coming to me in my dreams every night." I said, leaning back in my chair. Finally feeling a little more relaxed courtesy of the Butterbeer kicking in. "Sometimes it's just memories that play in my mind, but then other nights, he's talking to me about her. He says things about how beautiful she is, reminding me that there will never be any denying that she belongs to him.." I choked up, tears forming in my eyes again. "He apologizes for missing every important milestone of her life this far.." I was becoming a babbling brook at this point, as the weight of what was coming next built in my throat. "..and he tells me how proud he is of me.. For being strong enough to do the right thing.. For being lucky enough to find reason in the world again.. For building a life for myself, despite going through absolute hell along the way." I brought my hands to my face, now full on sobbing. Poppy got up from her seat and wrapped her arms around me. "It's okay, Theo. Let it out. I've got you." she said, as my tears pooled on her blouse. "I miss him so much, Poppy." I fought to say through my cries. "I wish he knew that he had a family. I wish he knew that there was finally a reason for him to be here.." I took a deep breath, attempted to clear up my face, and cleared my throat to change the subject. "But I also hate him for choosing to not be a part of it." I stood up, alerting Poppy that I was ready to return home.

"Nobody can say if that's in fact a choice he has made or not, because nobody knows if he's still breathing" she stated as we walked up to the bar to pay our tab. She was right. But it had been twelve years since I had seen or heard from Sebastian, so why would I be hopeful that he was? "Come on, let's get you home so you can rest." Poppy said, before apparating us back to my house.