FOOL FOR YOU | ??? ?????

0.4| new beginnings

It is by far one of my favorite things about being a singer, and it will probably always stay that way.

The three songs I have written so far, I feel such a strong connection to. I wrote 'Your Power', 'Clean', and 'we don't have to take our clothes off'.

Even though it has only been 3 months since I released my album out of the blue, and even though I promised myself I wouldn't be thrust back into spotlight too soon.

I miss my fans.

It's funny really, how people I don't know have such a hold on me. And its not like I feel obligated to come back, it's because I want to come back to my fans.

The individuals that I connect to more than I feel like I have with anyone else, through the lyrics and emotions that I put into most if not all of my songs.

3 months ago, if you told me I would be coming back into spotlight after just releasing my album I would've thought that you were crazy.

But it has surprised me how much calmer I feel in the span of 3 months, with how much more I healed in that short amount of time.

I didn't think I could feel more healed but I guess I do know why I do. With what happened with Austin, I pretended like it didn't happen after it did.

I pretended like we never had a relationship, which was quite easy actually as no one ever knew about it, well except his asswhole friends.

But with acknowledging what he did, and thinking and understanding that it wasn't my fault that he did it.

It healed me so much more than I thought it would. Revealing it to myself after having it hidden for literal years feels so much better, makes me feel even more of myself than I've ever been.

With living alone for almost 3 years, it heals a person tremendously, whether it be physically or mentally. For me? Both.

I have never felt more.. me.

I have never felt more me since I was a child, a child that had no care in the world of what people thought of me. A child who was living not just surviving.

Hell, I feel more healed and carefree than when I even was as a kid. That is how much being alone healed me.

Even though being alone wouldn't heal everyone, it healed me in a way I didn't know I needed to be healed before, in a way I never knew I could be healed in, and I will never regret leaving everything I had, even if it be just a couple years.

It did so much for me, and will continue too. I feel reborn.

And of course to be reborn, you have to die first. And that is exactly what I did.

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December 31st, 2020// new years/

vittorias POV

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I HAD JUST GOTTEN back from Christmas with my parents in Italy 2 days ago, I had written two more songs that I decided would go onto my EP. ' my heart, your hands'.