Spade (MxM)

Chapter 152

Matteo sighed out and pulled out the chair in front of him before sitting on it and facing Spade
"What happened between you and Nate"? He asked, Spade's ears quickly perked up at this as he felt his heart beat pick up too just hearing his name sent it all crashing back like a hurricane, he looked away from Matteo and clenched his jaw, why couldn't he just pretend he wasn't hurt?

"I don't wanna talk about it" he gritted out, his eyes and voice telling Matteo that it was not up for discussion, but Matteo wasn't just his right hand man, he was his brother, so that cliche line wouldn't work on him.

Matteo narrowed his eyes at Spade "Gio, what happened"? He asked again, making Spade to grit his teeth as he glared at Matteo, but obviously his stare wasn't working on Matteo as the blonde matched his stare

"I said I don't wanna talk about it" he gritted out and Matteo wasn't even having it at all as his eyes pressed and drilled Spade for answers.

"And I don't think I'm buying that, Spade, Nate just got off the phone with me and he didn't sound okay, what happened between the both of you"? this pushed Spade as he finally snapped. Letting out every pent up anger and frustration he'd been holing up inside of him all afternoon

"He betrayed me"! He yelled out, Matteo just frowned as he looked at Spade as if he didn't understand what he was saying, and for sure he didn't understand what Spade was saying.
"He fucking betrayed me, he ratted me out to Garcia" Spade spat, as he watched Matteo's frown deepen as his jaws clenched tightly

"What do you mean he ratted you out to Garcia"? Matter asked, Spade sighed out and got up, running his hands through his hair, just recounting the event was stressful for him, he didn't want to remember it at all, but he had to.

He recounted the whole thing that happened to Matteo, seeing the way his facial expression had kept changing everytime Spade said something new.

He finished as he sighed out, feeling the heaviness in his heart grow much more than it was before

Matteo didn't say anything as he watched Spade, he didn't even know what to say, but he wanted to hear what Nate had to say, not that he didn't believe Spade but he wanted Nate to look him in the eyes and tell him everything Spade had just said was true.

He could see the pain in Spade's eyes and even in his voice, the agony and pain his brother was feeling was somehow breaking his own heart, he wished there was something he could say that would ease Spade's bleeding heart, but that was not how it worked.

Nate was Spade's first love, the man had never loved anyone before and he finally let go for Nate and gets his heart completely broken, he didn't think anything he said now would matter to Spade.

Spade didn't want Matteo to say anything because he didn't even know if he wanted to hear anything, he wasn't really in the mood to talk.

And he was grateful that Matteo didn't say anything to him again about it as they both sat in the office in complete silence

                             

Nate was sitting eagerly waiting for Matteo's call, his eyes set on the phone, if anyone could talk to Spade into listening to him then Matteo was the right one.

As he sat there waiting his mind kept doing back flips as did his stomach, he hoped Spade would listen, he didn't mind opening up completely to the man and telling him everything, even to the point of what that other man had done to him.

But would Spade even believe him if he told him that his uncle had done that thing to him?
He didn't care at this point, he just wanted Spade to look at him softly and gently again.

He didn't want Spade's last memory of him to be that of a betrayer, he wanted to take away that pain in Spade's eyes for him, and he would do anything to achieve that

He heard a knock on his door and this made him scramble up on his seat as he rushed towards the door, his heart pounding hard in his chest, while his mind hoped and prayed it was Spade on the other side.

But he was a bit shocked and disappointed when he opened the door and it was Matteo on the other side, and his face was hard, his jaw clenched and his eyes cold steel blue.

"Matteo" Nate whispered out, looking behind him in hopes to see Spade but was even more disappointed when he realized the blonde had come alone, the blonde brushed past him and entered into the apartment.

Nate didn't even notice the attitude he was giving, all that wasn't his problem now as he had only one person in mind.

He shut the door and turned around to face Matteo "what are you doing here"? He whispered and Matteo's jaw further clenched as he stared intently at Nate

"Did you do it"? He asked, Nate sighed out already knowing what he was talking about, he knew Spade would tell Matteo, he heard the blonde scoff as he turned his back on him for a split second before he looked back at him.
"You did, didn't you? You betrayed him" Matteo stated, his voice holding pain too and a little bit of disappointment, no actually a shit ton of disappointment in his voice and eyes

"Matteo, I didn't mean to" Nate whispered out and Matteo just shook his head, clenching his jaw

"You didn't mean to? Nate he loved you and you betrayed him, he cared for you" Matteo whispered yell and Nate flinched a bit, he knew all this, Matteo didn't have to point it out and add salt to the wound in his heart.

He knew all this, he knew just how much Spade loved him, and that was what made it even more painful for him.
"I know, and I'm sorry...." Matteo cut him off with his sharp words and voice

"No you don't, you fucking have no idea what he felt for you, if you did then you wouldn't have betrayed him" Matteo snapped, Nate sighed out as he felt the tears forming at the back of his throat, he swallowed and tried to push the tears back.
"Spade has never loved anyone before, but he let himself fall in love with you, he has never cared for anyone like he cares for you, the way he looks at you, he has never looked at anyone like that, and you just threw all that away" Matteo stated.

Nate shut his eyes, feeling the corners brim with tears, hearing Matteo say it like this was not helping, it was making him feel even more ashamed and guilty
"Did everything both of you shared meant nothing to you? Were you just there so when it was time you'd betray him and break his heart"? Matteo asked and Nate shook his head because that was not what happened

"Matteo it's not like that, I can explain everything, just let me talk to him" he whispered out, croaking and choking on his own sobs, Matteo just swallowed and looked away

"I don't think he wants to listen to you right now, or even see you" Matteo muttered, and Nate felt his shoulders sag and his spirit automatically gone down "I don't know if you noticed but in this world, in our world, betrayal is the worst thing a person could do, and anyone who betrays gets killed, the only reason why he didn't kill you was because he's in love with you, pushing it and asking to talk to him won't help anyone" Matteo explained, he sounded softer now than when he just entered.
"And I know you think I can talk to him and persuade him on your behalf because you're my brother and I at least owe you that, but Nate you are my brother yes, but I've known Spade all my life, and what you did to him, is killing him and it's breaking my heart watching him hurt like that, even I can't bring myself to talk to him on your behalf"

Matteo finished and walked past an already crying Nate, who had silent tears streaming down his face, as he swallowed heavy lumps of sobs, he didn't want to become a crying mess, not now.
It wouldn't help.

Matteo stopped when he got to door, but he didn't turn around "I think it'll be best if you respect his wishes and just stay away from him, if you love him, you'll do that for him" he finished before he walked out and for the second time that day, Nate found himself on the ground as he cried silently while rocking himself back and forth.

He really messed up and now he couldn't take it back.

I wish Spade would just listen to him.

Sorry if I'm bombarding y'all with updates, but I've finished the book and I can't help it 😜😜😩