?Give? Jeongin Centric

Page ①⑨

Is it really the greatest gift?

"You should never recover jeongin, you don't deserve it."

I want to believe I do deserve it.

Just this once.

But maybe it's true...

Maybe I don't deser-

The door bursts open.

All seven of them file in.

They look like a mess.

But they're my mess.

They all looked at me cautiously with tears streaming down their faces.

They're afraid I might break.

They think I'm made of glass.

So because I know it's the only way,

I smile.

That alone prompted all seven of those high schoolers to run at me full swing.

They take care not to pull any wires.

We sit in silence for a while.

Just me and them.

Together.

That is until I hear and see Felix bawling.

"J-jeongin I'm so sorry. I know y-you don't need to accept it b-but I feeling so fucking stupid. We just wanted to help. B-but we just made you worse. I'm so sorry I was- I was just so worried."

I feel guilty.

Why is he shedding tears because of me?

I'm a nobody.

But I guess that set everyone off.

Their tears had finally begun to stop.

Now the dam that held them was destroyed.

And one by one,

They apologized.

Seungmin was the last.

He looked to be the most guilty of them all.

I'll talk with him about it later.

Nevertheless, I was grateful.

I'm glad they thought I was deserving of an apology.

Still the memories keep flooding my brain.

The panic.

The humiliation.

The pain.

So instead of staying quiet.

I speak up.

"I-I understand why you did it..."

I looked down at my hands, starting to fiddle with my fingers.

"But... that doesn't make it right,"

They all collectively deflate at my words.

I take a deep breath.

It's the only way I'll be able to continue.

"I trusted you guys to not snoop and you broke that trust. I'm not saying that I'll never trust you again, I'm just saying that it'll take time to build it back up again. Once a paper is wrinkled you can never quite get it to lay flat again."

My voice grows quiet by the end.

The cracks in my voice exposed how I truly felt.

But I was relieved.

I finally got to create my own boundaries.

However all I get is a stillness in return.

"We know jeong, but we'll do everything in our power to make sure you're okay. In a better way, a way thats different to how we handled this."

Chan said this all with regret.

I think he blames himself.

But the past is the past.

And they are my future.

Maybe this was the kind of healing I needed.

The kind of healing with them.

Together.

:)

A/n: here's another chapter lovelies <3

Sadly though, we're getting closer to the end of this book as there will only be about 5-6 chapters left (depending on if I do an epilogue). It's upsetting bc I've really enjoyed writing this but I had already planned for the ending.
I just want to say thank you for all the support :) take care of yourselves well, and I'll see you next chapter <333