“I’ll just be a companion then.” Chat said softly. “I would never think to do that to you if you didn’t want to.” He said while lifting his hand to wipe the stray tears on Khems face. “I’m sorry that happened to you.” Chat said, making Khem shake his head.
“You haven't done anything to me. So please don't apologize.” Khem said sadly before he tried to wipe the tears he had in his eyes.
“I still feel guilty for trying to kiss you.” Chat said, making Khem shake his head.
“If…If things were different I would have allowed you to kiss me.” Khem said softly, looking down.
“You would have?” Chat asked, shocked.
“You helped when I was destined for death. I admire you alot.” Khem admitted. Chat wanted to respond but Khem stood up from the floor. “We have early practice in the morning, I must head to bed.” Khem said making Chat go to stand up but he remembered that the cat was still resting on top of him.
“Khem wait.” Chat said a little loudly making the cat spring up in surprise before he just stood up and stepped in front of Khem. “Can we please talk about this?” Chat said softly when he saw how Khem refused to look at him. “Please. I promise I won’t tell anyone what you told me.” he said hoping it would cause some reassurance.
“I can’t Chat.” He said refusing to look up. “If I do talk I might not be able to stop.” Khem said before pushing past him and going to his room.
Chat followed behind and was going to walk in before he heard a sob making him freeze. It was very rare to hear a man cry. He’d never think he’d hear Khem cry. So the sound horrified him. He opened the door slowly to reveal Khem with his hands on his shoulders and his knees to his chest as if he was trying to hold himself together but failing. Chat wanted to give him privacy, but the scene was too much for him to ignore.
“Khem.” He said, walking in and kneeling next to him, wanting to hug him, but afraid that he would cause Khem to panic. Khem tried to wipe his tears but Chat just held his hands softly before. “It’s okay. You can cry.” Chat whispered softly making Khem try to shake his head but he could only sob instead. “It’s okay.” Chat said again, making Khem hold on to him tightly. “It’s okay.” Chat repeated over and over again.
Khem just sobbed until he couldn’t even breathe anymore. Chat just held him tightly before he passed out. Khem went limp in his arms making him worry before he realized that Khem was asleep. He lifted Khem up to his bed before he grabbed a few blankets and laid on the floor next to him. He watched Khem sleep softly before he also fell asleep.
Khem was surprised when he woke up. He could feel that his eyes were slightly swollen from the crying but he ignored it. He was about to get out of bed before he stopped when he realized Chat was on the floor surprising him. Khem got out of bed hastily before he tried to wake Chat up.
“Chat. Chat.” Khem said, making Chat’s eyes flutter open before he saw Khem’s face.
“Khem.” He said going to sit up only to groan in pain as his back felt terrible.
“Idiot.” Khem said, helping him up. “Why did you sleep on the ground?” Khem asked.
“I didn’t want to leave you alone.” Chat said softly.
“Well then why didn’t you sleep on the top bunk.” Khem said, annoyed, making Chat look up before he sighed.
“I’m an idiot.” He said.
“I can tell.” Khem said.
“Khem.” Chat said once he was standing. “About last night.” He said making Khem sigh before he looked back at Chat.
“I have practice soon. If you want we can speak about this later.” Khem said.
“Okay.” Chat said, making Khem nod before he got dressed quickly. “I’m gonna go to the village later. We can meet at the field if you’d like.” He said, making Khem nod before he ran off to the stage.
Chat went to the village to visit the old lady and bought a few snacks before he went to the field and sat down at the trunk of the tree where Khem had told him about the why he came to Man Suang and just sighed feeling distraught inside, feeling unprepared about what Khem was going to tell him. He sat there waiting for what felt like hours before he heard rustling behind him and turned around to see Khem walking toward him.
“Hi.” Khem said softly before he sat down next to Chat.
“I brought something for you to eat.” Chat said lifting the food he had bought but Khem shook his head.
“I.. I’m not hungry right now.” He lied, and Chat knew it.
“Khem.” Chat said reaching to hold Khem’s hand softly. “You don’t have to tell me this.” He said, making Khem shake his head.
“I have to tell someone about this. I feels…. I feels like too much. I can’t handle this burden on my own anymore.” Khem said. Chat nodded before Khem closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I told you that I learned to dance once I my parents died.” Khem said softly. “I loved dancing, I still do. It was the only time I didn’t feel like a lowly peasant orphan. Everyone saw me.” He said before pausing. “They saw my body. Not my dance.” He said before closing my eyes. “I needed money, but I wanted to do something I loved, so I danced. I was promised that I would be allowed to dance more if… if I was able to satisfy them.” Khem said as he closed his eyes feeling tears form. “I wanted to dance. So I let them… use me, touch me, and satisfy themselves with my body.” Khem said, wiping his tears. “That’s how I ended up here. I was told that if I wanted to dance more then I’d have to satisfy the man I was dancing for. When he was about to begin, someone killed him and ran off before we could catch him. Wan and I were covered in his blood so they thought we did it. His uncle said that if we'd find those papers he'd pardon us.” Khem explained before he paused and took a deep breathe. “I never fought them.” He gasped out. “Even if a woman forced me to do something, I didn't fight, because I was afraid they would lie to their husband's. I.” Khem couldn't finish because a sob ripped out of him.
Chat just hugged Khem tightly, ignoring how his own eyes filled with tears and just held him. Khem needed to feel a touch that was caring and not invasive. “I'm sorry Khem. You don't have to continue. I understand now.” Chat said, making Khem cry even more.
“"I don't think I could have any kind of relationship like that with you.” Khem cried.
“It's okay. I understand. I'll just be your friend.” Chat said making Khem shake his head.
“You deserve more than that.” Khem said but Chat shook his head.
"And you deserve so much more.” Chat said before taking a deep breath. “You deserve someone who will care for you, and I want to do that. I don't care for sex.” Chat said, making Khem surprised.
“You don't.” Khem said softly.
“No. I don't.” I just care for you.” He said.
Khem looked at him softly before he placed a soft kiss on Chat's cheek. “Even if that's all I'm willing to give you?” Khem asked.
“Yes.” Chat said softly while holding his cheek softly.
Khem wanted to say more but he just wiped his tears and looked at Chat. “If you no longer want to be with me, just tell me. I'll understand.” He said, making Chat shake his head.
“I don't think that will ever happen.” Chat said softly.
Khem smiled softly before he stood up and turned back to Chat. “I haven't heard you play in a very long time. Do you think we can convince Hong to let you lead the band tonight while I dance.” He asked, making Chat smile.
“I'm sure we can.” He said before getting up before the 2 headed back to Man Suang.
A/N: Hey y'all. I write this cause me and my bestie are very excited for the spin off show but we're afraid their not gonna address Khem's trauma so I just decided to write it. Hope you guys liked it. I might write a second part that would be the more accurate and angsty part but we'll see. Feel free to leave a comment, constructive criticism or votes. Thanks again for reading.
