Sea of Temptation ; Simon Riley.

Chapter 33.

After I woke up they left me alone in the room, my back was resting against a pile of pillows, next to my bed on the table there was a white vase with flowers. I could smell them from where I was, as soon as I concentrated my sight on them, I noticed that they were beautiful light colored tulips. Who brought them to me? Nobody knew about my favorite flowers.

After all, the hospital room was simple and small, with a TV in the corner and a small wardrobe at the center. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything, just lay in here miserably.

Touching my abdomen, I felt bandages right where the wound was. Out of curiosity, I lifted my robe and noticed dark bruises protruding from the bandages. I bit my lip, the sight of it was disgusting me, so I lowered the fabric and huffed loudly.

The hours seemed to pass slowly, I flipped through channel after channel on the TV but nothing attracted me. Finally, someone knocked on the door, and I 'enthusiastically' mumbled in response to give permission.

My eyes were stuck on the cooking program playing on the screen, loud thuds of boots echoed in the air then the door closed. I had never been so interested in a cooking show, but that pasta with the yellow cream and pepper looked so good.. and that's how I remembered that I hadn't had a proper meal for months now.

I was so busy that I never dedicated time to myself, I didn't even realize I had neglected myself like this. My stomach rumbled loudly, then a deep laugh reminded me that someone had just entered the room. "I can see the drool." John commented with an amused tone, my head flew immediately to his direction.

He was wearing normal attire, a black jacket, jeans and a beanie. This man didn't like exposing his hair that much, it was rare to see him without his hats or beanies. "John." A small smile formed on my lips and I gestured him to take a seat, luckily, he followed and did so.

"You made us worried sick, but I knew you were strong and tough." He rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, looking at me with those bright blue eyes. "You know me." I gave him a slight nod and reached out for the  remote to turn off the TV.

I groaned in pain when I shifted my body, John was quick enough to grab the remote for me and help me back on the bed comfortably. In return, I grumbled a small thank you.

"How is Soap? He just got hit in the arm, right?" I asked all of a sudden, my gaze falling on my fumbling hands. It didn't matter how I was doing, I had specifically taken the bullet to save an important member of the team.

The others had a strong bond between them and I knew it would be a hard blow for them to have a colleague die on a mission. Fortunately, the bullet ended up in my abdomen, no one was dead and almost certainly not even Makarov. Or my dad.

"He's been doing fine. He came to visit you just yesterday but you were still asleep." He responded with a small smile, and I was glad that at least I did a good thing. "Everyone was so worried about you, even Ghost. He came everyday to check up on you."

At his words the world stopped, I couldn't get them through my head. Him? Worried about me? It just wasn't possible. He was a bastard and he knew he was one himself, knowing that he came to visit me several times was sending me completely into a tailspin.

"So, I wanted to ask you again: is there something going on between you two?"

I stared at my hands, the cuticles bruised from constant biting and pulling from anxiety. I couldn't answer him, I didn't know what to say to him.

Yes, I slept with my lieutenant and it wasn't the first time either. Yes, I had fun with him. I let him touch me right into my soul and I let him do it because I fucking liked it.

"We just became great friends." I lied, and it showed clearly because I was frowning. A chuckle came from him, I heard him get up and then sit at the edge of the bed. He placed a hand over mine to stop me from picking on my skin nervously, "Simon doesn't make 'great friends' just like that."

Yes, I knew it. I guessed it from his way of ignoring me and then immediately taking all of me, and then continuing to ignore me as if nothing happened.

"I'm an exception, then." I murmured, still keeping a frown on my face. Then, I raised my head and met his eyes. He had that way of looking at me differently, he always had a soft look towards me, a look that screamed that I wasn't just a friend or former teammate.

"You have no idea of what you do to certain people." His words sent me in confusion, my eyebrows furrowed slightly and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What exactly?"

A moment of silence fell over us, it was just me and him sharing an intense eye contact; his eyes spoke a million of things that I couldn't seem to comprehend. "You know it." He whispered.

I was so confused and into my thoughts that I haven't realized that the gap between our faces was closing slowly. His lips were just a few inches away from mine, his warm breath caressed my skin.

I was completely frozen, my eyes still boring into his when I finally snapped into reality. "John.." I moved my head to the side when his lips were about to brush against mine, heat rising to my cheeks.

My chest rose and fell quickly, the room felt too hot so suddenly, I needed to get fresh air as soon as possible but this wound was keeping me on this bed. "I see.." He hummed lowly, leaning back and getting up.

I didn't know how to react, how to respond to him, what the hell to do at that moment. I could hear my heart in my ears, what had just happened? He was my damn captain.

"John, you can't possibly have feeli–"

"I do. I damn do, since the first day I met you."

Oh, fuck.

I felt ruined, first Ghost and then John. The only difference was that I had a strong attraction for the first one while for the second one, he was simply a close friend – captain.

No word came from me, I was too stunned to speak. "Shepherd is dead."
Why was he bringing this up all of a sudden? After making it clear that he had feelings for me. After trying to kiss me.

"What– dead? How could he possibly be.." I muttered under my breath in confusion, I tried collecting all the dots and his silence spoke a lot. My head flew to his direction, my eyes wide, "John.. what did you do?"

His blue irises didn't dare to move from mine, I had never felt so shaken in my life. It was all happening so fast, suddenly, all at once. He didn't give me time to digest any facts.

My question remained pending, he turned and left the room in silence, without giving me an answer, without making me understand anything.

I just wanted to disappear.