Borrowed Time Part 2

Chapter 216

"Right, but-." She tapped her cheek lightly, making her look over at her again. She wasn't losing the very little progress they had made right now, that sounded like a terrible idea.

"No buts." She rested her head against Becky's forehead and took a deep breath, encouraging her to do the same. "Hey... Where is this coming from?" She asked, and Becky pulled away, letting out a sigh as she stepped back from her.

What?

"... My mom is back." She mumbled, making Juliette feel like ice water was trickling down her spine, the air around them seeming painfully still as she let out a scoff, shaking her head... No.

No, because that couldn't be true, that just... It couldn't be true that she was back in Becky's life, making her feel like shit all over again when they had just fucking gotten rid of her... How was that fair to her? Becky deserved better.

"Like... Back back because I thought your dad-." Becky cut her off, nodding as she continued to stare blankly at the wall, letting out a heavy sigh. Juliette hated to see her like this, it was the closest that she'd seen to how Becky was in the fall in a long time, and the last thing she wanted was for her to go back to that place. That'd been awful.

"He has full custody, but she's following me around, finding me around town... Trying to 'bring me home to her so that she can fix me.'" Becky said, putting quotes around the last part. Juliette grimaced, swallowing back the bile in her throat as she shook her head, reaching out to rub Becky's arm comfortingly. Hearing that couldn't be comforting at all.

"Oh my God, Becky." She murmured, and Becky gave her a reassuring smile and a sigh, her eyes shining with bitter, unshed tears. Fuck.

"And sometimes I consider it, you know?" She asked, her voice breaking over the words as she let out a shaky sigh, shaking her head as she squeezed her eyes shut like she was trying to push it down. "Like... Sometimes I wish I was normal." She said, and Juliette frowned, furrowing her brows... Because that was ridiculous, because Becky was very normal - being gay didn't make her any less normal, her mom was just a fucking asshole because that was how she had always been.

Becky didn't have to change a thing.

"You are normal." She insisted, and Becky gave Juliette a look as she gestured to herself.

"You know what I mean." She nodded, letting out a sigh. That wasn't the point, but if it comforted her, she'd admit that she did in fact know what was being talked about.

"I do..." Of course she did. She'd heard it every day for years, but that didn't mean that she was gonna sit there and let Becky think it just because she 'knew what she meant'. That wasn't a reason to let her think it.

"But then I think about Carly and how much I fucking love her and how good she makes me feel in every way... and I just... Can't fathom being sickened by the mere sight of her like I was with Esme." Becky said, rubbing the heels of her hands into her eyes like she was trying to push her eyeballs back into her skull or something, which Juliette understood... She used to do the same shit just so she could blur her eyes, show herself that she had agency over her body in even that small, strange way. "It was torture, and I don't want to torture myself like that again, I can't torture her like that." She whispered, and Juliette stepped forward, folding her into a tight hug, one that Becky all but melted into, holding her like she was a lifeline in a storm.

"Hey." I've got you, baby.

"What?" She asked, her voice muffled by the fabric of Juliette's shirt before she pulled away, wiping under Becky's eyes with the pads of her thumbs, keeping a reassuring smile on her face.