We're Not Related Anymore...

The Funeral

"And now, his wife Lilian, joins us to say a few words." I hear the pastor move away from the microphone. Next to me, Lilian stands up and walks in front of me to get to the podium.

She clears her throat before speaking. "I'd like to thank everyone for coming here today. I know Keegan would be pleased to have so many people here for him. I, um. Excuse me." She pauses for a second and I hear her clear her throat again.

My eyes are clear for long enough that I can look up to see her. She's got her reading glasses on and she looks so much like she did when I first met her, that I get deja vu. I pretend, for just a second, that we're back at the restaurant where we first met. She's not reading through my father's eulogy but the Tex-Mex restaurant's menu.

But then she starts speaking again and the fantasy ends.

"It's hard to summarise who Keegan was and what he was for people. To many, he was a prestigious professor. His work made up a lot of his identity. Many might think this was the pride and joy of his life. But, as his wife, I knew better.

"A few years ago, Keegan was a renowned professor at one the best educational institutions in the world. He was proud of his work but then Keegan and I reconnected after years of being apart and he gave it all up. Some have said he was crazy for what he did. Who gives up a tenured position in New York to come teach in the middle of nowhere?"

There are some laughs at Lilian's words, and she too smiles a brittle smile.

"He did it all for love. Nothing mattered more to him than his family and that's how I'd like to remember my husband. He was a man of great intelligence but when it came down to it, he followed his heart. Every. Damn. Time." She gets choked up again and has to look away from all of us sitting in the pews. I see her take a step back from the podium. The pastor places a comforting hand on her shoulder before she leaves. She takes a second and then she climbs down the steps again. She glides past me and then takes her seat.

The pastor starts speaking again but my mind is still echoing the words Lilian has just said. I never really thought of his choices the way she has. He gave up everything he'd worked for in New York to be with her. It's pretty fricking romantic. I'd never thought of my dad like that. He was a good dad but he could be cold sometimes. I'd always thought his work and reputation were more important than anything but Lilian has me rethinking my entire view of him.

A few others get up to speak. Neither Josh nor I say anything. Despite all my work planning the funeral, I'm unable to do more. I'm also regretting my decision to have chosen an open casket. I see his body lying peacefully in there but... I never knew how bad the accident was until now.

Whoever dresses and takes care of the body did the best they could to make him presentable but it's obvious how he died. There are thin, bloodless scratches and cuts all over his face and hands. I know the man who killed him is in jail... but seeing my dad like this makes me wonder if there was any justice at all. He's dead, killed by someone's reckless driving. That man will spend a few years in prison but my dad will never live again.

The horror of it all has me finally quieting down after all of that crying. It all happened so fast. He's supposed to still be here. We're supposed to have more time.

Maybe Lilian has a sixth sense. Maybe she's just thinking that if there's one person who can understand the pain she's in right now, it's me. All I know is that a second after I'm thinking my most hopeless of thoughts, I feel her hand reach out for mine. She uncurls my hands from my lap and twines her right hand through my left. We spend the rest of the service like that, tethered together by our grief.

Too soon, it feels, we have to stand up. We line up by the front, accepting the condolences from friends and the community.

I'm numb to most of the 'I'm sorry for your loss' speeches until a flash of red hair catches my attention. Behind three of my dad's old friends is Tessa.

My face breaks out into a genuine smile when I see her and I feel the tears in my eyes well all over again.

"You're here," I say when she gets to me. She brings me into a crushing hug and I allow myself to put my head on her shoulder and just let her hold me.

"I wouldn't miss this," She speaks into my hair. She gives my arms a squeeze. "You're my number one, Mad. I'll never not be there for you."

She lets go of me to give her sorrys to Lilian and I miss her presence already. Before I can call her back to me, I turn to see an older dark-haired man in front of me.

"I'm sorry for your loss," He tells me. "I can tell you loved your father very much."

I look up at him. Something about him seems so familiar but I'm sure I've never seen him before. He has graying dark hair, dark soulful eyes, and laugh lines around his mouth that remind me of a certain someone.

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure who you are," I tell him, searching my mental archives for a clue to his identity. He's not one of my dad's colleagues or old school buddies. He's also not someone from around town. At least, not as long as I've been here. He does have that southern twang that most of the people, the Isaacs included, have.

"That's because we've never met before," he tells me with a gentle smile.

Standing next to me, Lilian stiffens. I turn sideways to look at her and see she's glaring at him.

"Adrian," she breathes and then forces composure on herself. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to pay my respects to the man who took you off my hands, darlin'. Excuse me," he says to me. He moves on, bypassing Lilian, to go comfort his girls. They look up at him in equal amounts of awe and suspicion. I'm saved from wondering too long what's happening by my mother's arrival by my side.

"So that's Adrian Isaacs," she says, looking at him with her sharp eyes. So that's who he is: Jacob's long-lost father.

I look at my mom, a question in my eyes. "What's on your mind, baby?" She asks me, bringing her arm around me as we, and all the others in the church, not so subtly witness this family reunion.

"Why's Lilian so surprised to see him? Surely it's normal for him to come here. His kids are here after all..." I trail off after my mom gives me a weird look.

"You really are the last person to know everything, aren't you?" My mom says, fondness in her tone.

"Last person to know what?" I say, glad for something else to keep my mind off of my pain.

"Adrian was in prison. Up until now, at least."