? The Ruins of Dawn ?

16 || chugging my problems

"Oh, nevermind," he said, his tone changed and got slightly colder but he wasn't glaring. Huh, interesting.

We're all seated at the dinner table eating in a comfortable silence. We're having a fancy pasta with rosee sauce and steamed broccoli covered in butter and salt. The pork tenderloin is perfectly barbecued. Noah spoke up with a mouthful of salty broccoli.

"Only a week until dad comes home." he sounded excited and his brothers nodded along happily. That means Mum is coming home too.

No.

I'm not ready for that. I liked the time away from her. I hate myself for thinking that but it's true. I don't think I would have gotten to know my step-brothers if she and Charles were home. They made me feel welcome, and I don't think they would have if Mum had been here. She would have taken all of their attention. This is what I'm learning about my mother. She seems nice from the outside, but when you want something for yourself to feel okay, she sees that and takes it from you.

"Amelie you zoned out, Ben asked if you wanted to go to his soccer game tomorrow?" Noah asked me, looking down the table at me.

"Oh yeah, sure that sounds fun." I responded, still deep in thought.

"You look a little pale, are you sure?" Cooper asked from next to me, with a concerned frown on his face.

"Mhm," I nodded. Everyone at the table was looking at me cautiously now, even Blake, and I hated it.

What happened? I was fine all week until Noah reminded me of that and it made me break a little inside.

No one could know about that video. I repeated this over and over in my head, until my brain agreed.

"Thanks for dinner, it was delicious!" I smiled at Evan, changing the subject.

"I'm glad to hear it." Evan replied.

After dinner had finished everyone sort of dismissed themselves. Noah and Blake went to their rooms, Cooper went to the gym in the basement and Evan was doing the dishes.

"I have an idea, come on." Ben said getting up indicating for me to follow.

I sighed and followed him up the staircase. I really wasn't in the mood right now. I just felt like blasting sad music and crying silently, but I followed anyway to make him happy.

"So what are we doing?" I sighed as we reached our floor.

"We're going to the 3rd floor." Ben grinned. I was confused at first then I remembered that that was the floor with the bar. I gaped at him.

"Didn't you say one of them had to come with us?" I asked.

"I can't believe I have to explain this to you. We sneak past them and be quiet, so they don't catch us, I've done it before it helps." He shrugged.

"That's a bit sad Ben. getting drunk to cope? What are you twenty?" I ask in a joking way

Ben's expression softens.

"I could tell at the dinner table that you needed it, Mils. don't be ashamed. It's not like you're going to do it every day." I narrowed my eyes at him. Could he see right through me?

"Are you sure?" I ask hesitantly.

"If you don't want to, you can just go back to your room," I considered this. If I could forget those words from the video for even a hour it would be worth it and that's what swayed my decision.

"Ok, let's do it." I said hobbling on the landing.

"Here, let me carry you, it'll make too much noise if you use those things up the stairs."