? The Ruins of Dawn ?

16 || chugging my problems

Ben looked at what was written on my cast. "You're so American?? Aren't we all..." he started hysterically laughing. I started laughing with him as I took another swig from the bottle.

"Not him though.. He's a London boy," I smiled sheepishly.

"Oooooo mils has a crush!" Ben yelled at the top of his lungs. I usually would've shushed him or denied it but I couldn't think straight.

"Yeah, I mean who wouldn't Harry Walker is hot as fuck." I stated as if it was the most obvious thing on the planet. Then Ben's face gave a look of realization.

"Ooh the blonde lacrosse player! I know him, you should date." The last part caught me so off guard I coughed.

"What?" Ben raised an eyebrow at me, "am I wrong?" I mean no.

"Rose is in the way," I laughed while taking another long sip. Ben looked like he was about to stop me but then shook his head slightly to himself.

"Who's Rose?"

"You know? The one that looks like Miss piggy!" I giggled at the thought of Rose's face on Miss Piggy's and I almost started hyperventilating. I was laughing so hard. Ben joined me.

"The one that's friends with Goldie?" Ben asked between laughs.

I nodded, clutching my stomach.

We laughed at my own stupid joke that slipped out, for a while. It was stupid but it felt really good to laugh. I felt like I had no care in the world right now, just laughing on the balcony with Ben, forgetting all that was going on in my new life.

When our hysterics calmed to muted giggles I looked up at the sky and thought of Mum. For some reason, alcohol made all of my thoughts form words on my tongue.

"I feel like my Mum is betraying me in a way." Honestly I couldn't tell you how those words got past the usually strong barricade of my lips but it was as if there was no barricade anymore. Ben gave me a puzzled look.

"How so?" he asked, suddenly sounding more aware and sober, although he seemed less drunk than me anyways.

"Well I didn't know Charles was even alive in my Mum's life until three weeks before the event where you pass the rings, what's that called again?" I said taking another swig of Vodka. The steady buzz turned a little more bitter.

"Wait what?" Ben looked genuinely confused. "You didn't know my dad at all?" At this point he looked worried.

"What do you mean? You didn't know my Mum, until then either......right?" I asked, my brain spinning and giving me a slight headache.

"I met Vicky a week after they started going out." Ben stated. My eyes grew to the size of saucers. I didn't want to believe that it wasn't a secret for them and yet I had no idea the entire time. It wasn't fair to be treated like this. But I didn't really have the energy to react.

"She didn't even tell us she had a daughter." Ben sighed now and turned his attention back to the stars.

"Was she ashamed of me?" I blurted out, then slapped a hand over my mouth.

"I don't know mils, don't think about right now" He smiled, and took another sip.

I just laughed. Full on laughed.

"This could only happen to me," I said, still laughing. Ben looked at me confused and then joined in.

"I mean was she pretending to love me, then living this whole other life?" I giggled. I don't know who I was questioning but it felt good to let it out. "Bipolar much,"

Ben snorted, forcing him to spit out the vodka.

"The stars look so pretty." I changed the subject without even realizing, my voice sounded shaky though. Ben looked up and started singing All of the Stars by Ed Sheeran randomly. I joined in at the chorus because I didn't know the verses but it was still funny.

"So open your eyes and see the way our horizons meet!" Of course this dumb ass could sing well too, even though he was drunk. We stood up and held hands dancing around. Well I was more hobbling and Ben was supporting my weight but it was still dancing. That is until we heard a deep voice coming from the deck door,

"What the fuck is going on here?" Noah asked, making us both turn towards him. He looked furious.

"Oh shit."

~~~~~

kinda edited

guys idk if I love or hate this chapter 😭

sorry for not updating im trying, im just so tired all the time but I'll try to be more active:)

tysm for reading mls! 

love eves and izzy xoxo