First at Last (Updated Version)

Chapter Seven

"Are you sure that is such a good idea, going off somewhere alone together?" Though, I wanted to. I really wanted to.

He hesitated for a moment, glancing around the room again. "I'm do not know if it is a good idea or not, but I know that people will talk regardless." He brought his eyes back to meet mine and my heart did a little flip in my chest. "I want to know what I've done to upset you. Please." The slight pleading edge to his voice nearly broke me.

Despite my misgivings, I relented. "All right, but it cannot be for long."

He offered me a small, tentative smile before turning and walking away, motioning for me to follow. I trailed after him, casting surreptitious glances around the room, hoping that, if anyone was still watching, Mother and Alice were not among them. We slipped out of the ballroom and I followed him down the hall to a door that led out into the gardens. The air was blessedly cool outside and I took deep breaths, relishing in the sweet scent of roses and flowering trees.

We stopped before the marble fountain, and, with a brief look around to ensure we were alone, William turned to me. "I want to know what changed. I know you say nothing has, but something has."

His Highness would be ashamed to have you for a wife.

I pressed my lips together. "Nothing has changed. This was always how it would be. You are meant to be with Alice. That is what everyone expects of you."

"What if I do not want to marry Alice?"

"Why wouldn't you want to marry her? Everyone wants to marry her. She is everything one could want in a wife." Tears blurred my vision and I blinked them back furiously. "Mother is right. I can never hope to be as good as Alice, as graceful and poised, as beautiful, as marriageable."

His eyes widened, his lips parting in surprise. "Your own mother said that to you?"

If only he knew. "She was only telling me in the truth. In her own way, she was just trying to look out for me."

"By telling you that you'll never be as good as your sister in any way? Is that how loving mothers usually look out for their children?" He did not sound accusing, only curious, disbelieving.

I glared at him defensively. "You couldn't understand. Our relationship is complicated."

William shook his head. "I'm sure. But your mother does not see you as I do, Erika. It does not matter that you are not like your sister. In fact, I think you are better than her. In every way."

My face warmed and I looked away. "You do not have to pretend."

William was quiet for a long moment and, when he spoke, it was so softly that I thought I might have imagined it. "I would never pretend with you, Erika."

I sucked in a breath and met his eyes again. Guilt gnawed at my insides and I had to force myself to continue meeting his gaze, to not turn away in shame. "I'm sorry," I said. "I did not mean to act so coldly toward you. The thought of not seeing you anymore was one that I did not want to entertain. I do think we are friends. I just—" I did not know even how to articulate my feelings, how to explain myself. I took a deep breath and tried again. "I think I went about it the wrong way and I did not mean to hurt you. I would understand if, after the way I acted, you would like to reconsider our friendship."

His eyes sparkled as his lips curved up in a smile. "I would love to be friends."

I could not help but return his smile, my heart lifting. "I would really like that, as well."

The silence that settled over us this time was a comfortable one, a relieved one. I was very glad that, perhaps, we could still be friends, even if that was all we could be. I turned and looked back at the large doors leading into the palace. Despite the warm light emanating from them, how welcoming it looked, the thought of returning to the stifling, overcrowded ballroom filled me with dread.