We're Not Related Anymore...

New Jersey

"I think it's a great idea," Lilian says nodding. "That way, your mom wouldn't have wasted any money and you and Jacob can bond."

"Bond?" My mom repeats, looking down at me curiously. "Have you not bonded with your stepbrother yet, Maddie?" She asks. There's an expression in her eyes that makes me look out the window. What is it with moms and having spidey sense? 

"They're slowly but surely getting there," my father defends, capturing my mom's attention again. "It's been a big adjustment on all the kids."

At that exact moment, Josh decides to sneeze. Everyone turns their attention to him, unconsciously backing away. I feel sorry for him but he's super gross right now. 

"Let's get out of here before he infects us," I tell my mom, throwing my bag over my shoulder and leading her out the door. "Bye!" I yell, waving frantically with my free hand. 

"Goodbye, everyone!" My mom says as well before I shut the door. 

-

While we're on the plane, I take out a book and start reading. It's an alien teen romance novel and it's quickly becoming one of my favourites. I'm grinning while reading the main character's banter with her love interest when my mom clears her throat. 

"Don't tell me you caught whatever Josh has," I say, shifting as far as I can from her when we're sitting right next to each other. 

"No. I'm actually trying to catch your attention. I want to talk."

"Oh," I say, relaxing in my seat and closing my book. "What did you want to talk about."

"What have you been up to? Has it been fun? Living with your dad's new wife? Are they nice?" She asks and her questions make my head spin. I look around the aircraft cabin. Everyone seems to be off in their own world, either sleeping or watching TV while we're in the air. 

"Um," I say, watching an air hostess bend down to talk to an elderly passenger. "It's ok. It was a bit weird having to start at a whole new school in my senior year. But I've managed."

"How are your stepsiblings? It's a pity I wasn't able to meet any of them yet. Where were the girls, by the way?" My mom asks and I know by the way she's trying to speak subtly that she's working up to a bigger question. 

"Lilian took them to her mom's house. She doesn't want them to get sick..." I look up at my mom. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" She asks, defensively. "I'm looking at you the way I always look at you."

"No, you're not."

She clears her throat again. "So this Jacob and you..."

"Here we go," I mutter, throwing myself against my seat. I stare angrily at the grey headrest in front of me. 

"You two don't like each other?" She asks, folding her hands in her lap. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see her staring at me intently. 

"No... we don't not like each other. It's just..." What do I say? We've been giving each other space? We're friends? According to Josh, he punched a guy in the face for me?

I never addressed that with Jacob after I found out. It felt like unnecessarily opening a can of worms. In fact, ever since I found out about it, I've been going out of my way to avoid him. After all our conversations about being 'friends', he really had to go and ruin it all. At least, no one else has picked up on why he did it. Except maybe Tamsin...

"It's what, Maddie? Is he mean?" My mom says and her words are so ridiculous she snaps me right out of my funk. 

"God, no. And even if he was, you don't think I can stand up to a bully?" I ask her, finally giving in and turning my head to look at her. 

"Of course not, honey. I taught you to stand up for yourself. It's just that... when you live with someone, you might find it more difficult to come forward if something is happening."

"Well, nothing is," I say, blushing. I mean something has 'happened' but not what she thinks. "Jacob's not like that. He's annoyingly nice and good at everything. If anything, I'm jealous." My blush gets deeper after letting out that nugget of information. 

"Jealous? Why on Earth would you be jealous of him, Maddie?" 

I sigh, rubbing my forehead. "It's just... I know I'm not stupid. But sometimes, next to Jacob, I look like an imbecile. And he knows who he is. He knows what he wants to do after school. Fuck, he even knows what he's going to do in like the next twenty years. I don't have that. I barely know what I want to study in college. I don't even know if I want to go to college," I admit, embarrassed by my words. Damn, whenever I'm with my mom this happens. It's like she brings all my worries to the surface. 

"Maddie..." She says softly but when I give her a look, my, 'I know I just trauma dumped on you but I'm not ready to talk about it yet' look, she sighs and changes the subject. "So this whole trip then..." she hesitates. "It's for nothing? I mean, I know I organized other things to do... but the college part? You were never intending on even thinking about it?"

"Please, Princeton? Me? Mom, even you had to know that was next to impossible for me," I say and she cracks a smile. 

"Maddie, if you wanted to go, I would've made sure. Trust me, I have my ways," she tells me winking and I pretend to gag. "Can we still see the school though?" She asks after a moment. 

"Yeah," I say, faking defeat. The truth is, I've always loved exploring old campus buildings. When I was little and used to visit my dad at work, I would pretend I was a princess in a castle. Colleges and universities always feel old-worldy and even now, as an almost adult, my fascination has only increased. "Maybe I can buy one of those sweatshirts with the school's name on it," I joke. 

"Don't you dare," my mother says, but she's smiling. She hates it when people wear branded clothes from places they've never been to. One time, she started talking to a guy who was wearing a T-shirt that said, 'I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro', and after she had excitedly told him about her time on the mountain, he turned around and said the shirt was from Goodwill. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our descent..." comes a gravelly voice in the speaker. 

My mom grabs my hand. "We're almost there. Isn't this exciting?"