Skz One Shots

?Struggles?

I left the room with red eyes just hoping no one would notice the fact that i had been crying my eyes out at the exam.
"How did the exam go?" Han asked me and i just shook my head.

"Not good." I looked down and he patted my shoulder.

"It happens to the best of us. Lets go eat before theres a huge line in the cafeteria." Jeongin said and the two started walking already but i didn't move.. i didn't feel hungry.
"You're not coming?" Jeongin stopped and turned to me.

"No.." I smiled and the two made their way to the cafeteria. I didn't really like school lunches, the food was bad and everything was so loud. Personally i thought it would be better if i didn't eat so i could be skinnier...

"Oh okay... well drink some water Hyung.." Jeongin looked at me and i smiled softly.

"I will, go before you lose Han in the crowd." I told him and he nodded leavinh me alone. Soon the hallway was filled with loud talking and laughter. I put my earpods on and my music loud enough to drown the noise.
I went to sit down and just watched my phone, i felt so tired, i just wanted to go home.. but at the same time i hated going home after school. I hated coming home to my parents constantly complaining to me.
I'm not good enough, ever.

I got into the next classroom, sitting on my usual spot and Innie sat right next to me.
I bounced my leg nervously even tho this class was the easiest of the day, i didn't get why i was so damn nervous all the time, it even annoyed how anxious and nervous i would get.
"Hyung?" Jeongin's voice called out and i came back to reality.

"Yeah? How was lunch?" I asked, not being interested at all actually, but acting like it made Jeongin happy.
I loved seeing him happy.

"It was fine, are you feeling ok?" Jeongin asks, he had noticed and now i felt like a burden. I didn't wanna lie to my friend but i didn't want to tell him the truth either.

"I'm ok, why?" I smile lightly just to be more convincing.

"No reason.. you seem kind of off today.. i mean lately you always- do.." Jeongin frowned and i felt a lump in my throat.

"nah, you're just being delusional, i feel fine. Dont worry Innie." I looked away quickly, i sometimes wish my friends would be blind to my emotions. I don't like them knowing how i feel...

"if you say so hyung." He turns away and i practically sigh from relief.

The rest of the class we didn't talk really. He worked and i was just spacing out really. I was supposed to be writing notes but i was no where near that. I looked at the empty page of my notebook. I felt useless, like i couldn't do such simple thing. Why was it so damn hard all the time?
Why do i feel like this.
Why am i like this.
I grip on my hair tightly giving it a pull, while my eyes were flooding with tears again. Why couldn't i just keep it in??

I kept staring down at the empty page that soon started filling with my tears when they fell down from my eyes on the paper.
I couldn't let anybody see it.
I wiped my tears away sneakily not trying to draw attention to myself.
My eyes must be red, just how great my cheeks will look. So red and puffy, i absolutely despise the fact that i get red when i cry..

My thoughts were soon interrupted by the bell. The class was finally over. I grabbed my stuff as fast as i could and left.