Fallen (Undergoing editing)

Chapter twenty three:

"Dick..." I grumbled under my breath, wincing as I stood upright, massaging my shoulder blades that ached again.

Raven sighed as she poured the steaming water into two cups and stirred them both with a little spoon, unaffected by our brawl. "I don't know why you provoke him."

I glared at the spot where he'd disappeared. "Me? Provoke him?" I shook my head. "Are you kidding me?"

Raven brought two steaming cups of cinnamon scented drinks, sliding one over to me. "I know he can be a jerk, but he's been through a lot...we've been through a lot. Threatening him won't get you anywhere; he doesn't take well to that as you can see."

"But what he did to my mentor—"

"Being demon isn't as easy as it sounds," Raven cut in firmly, her eyes flashing. "I'm not saying what he did was right, but it's the same for all of us. The pull of demonic blood can do cruel things, clouds our judgment when we least expect it." She took a long sip of her drink despite its temperature. "Have you ever felt the burning urge to do something—something against your good conscious but a deep pull just made you do it anyway?"

I ground my teeth, wincing as the hot drink met my lips, scalding the tip of my tongue. My mind went back to when I chased Demetrius through the air, clouded by rage that I blocked out everything, including my instincts. I'd never felt anything like it; the rush, the adrenaline, the bloodlust, "Maybe," I lied.

Raven sighed pulling her hair behind one ear that was covered in piercings. "It's a gift and a curse, Lilith. We get the luxuries of powers and skills no other can possess, but it costs a great deal of control and good judgement." Raven looked down to her cup, eyes dark with grief. "Demetrius wasn't always like this though."

"What happened?" I said, blowing down on to my tea.

Raven bit her lip and turned away, digging through the cupboards again, bringing out some bread and grabbed some sandwich ingredients form the fridge.

"During the demonic war, Capital angels came to my village and destroyed everything. Set houses on fire, separated families—you know the usual." She rolled her eyes as she slapped cheese on to the bread. "When they came to my house, they killed my father in front of me and grabbed my mother. I was told to hide, but I screamed because I was afraid. The guards found me and hurt me bad. Demetrius was out with the resistance group fighting, but when he came back..." Raven's knife paused over the bread. "I was seconds away from death."

"How did you...?"

"They say, angel's grace heals and purifies, so Demetrius made a choice that day. The only way to save me was to cut away his own grace and gave it to me."

I felt my eyes widen. "Can that even happen?"

She shrugged and laid the top bread piece on and slid the sandwich over to me on a plate. "I guesso, I'm here aren't I?"

I mumbled a 'thanks' under my breath and almost rudely tore into my sandwich leaving no time for chewing as I gobbled chunks whole, little by little satisfying my hunger.

"Demetrius's sacrifice caused him the only remaining 'sanity' left; leaving him no longer a half blood, but a demon."

I swallowed. "So...he really is a demon?"

She nodded solemnly, finishing her sandwich, but made no motion to eat it. "From then on he wasn't the same, but I didn't care he was my brother. When Alice found us he promised my brother we would be safe, that he didn't have to prove anything anymore, but...." Raven slid the second sandwich over to me noticing how I'd devoured the first. "He didn't sleep, he didn't eat—for a year he went missing and still never talks about where he'd gone or what he'd done." She sighed. "I believe he's hurting, but how can I know if he's got no soul."

I grabbed the sandwich and tore through it slower this time. "Couldn't you just put grace back in him?"

Raven glowered at me. "You think we didn't try that? We tried everything in the book to get him back to the way he was, but nothing. He doesn't even want to be fixed, he says he's not broken." She shook her head placing both palms on the counter exasperatedly. "Every day he seems darker and darker. That's what demon blood does to you, but for us Fallen we at least have the grace to stabilize the process, but without the grace...he resembles less of my brother more and more."

Through demonic studies with the Guardianship, I knew about demon-blood and demonic possession and every time it was the same thing. Raven was right, every day the demon blood would only grow stronger eating up whatever remained of the real Demetrius, the darkness claiming him for its own. It was impenetrable and unstoppable.

"I'm—sorry," I hiccupped.

Raven looked abruptly to me as if I'd disturbed a memory she'd been going over while we were both silent. "Oh, don't be." She smiled. "I know he's strong enough to get over it, I know he is."

Looking at Raven's feigned content expression and the hidden shadow under her eyes, I knew that was the only thing getting her to sleep at night.

"So, here's your room," Raven said after I'd shoved the last sandwich, several crackers and slice of cheese into my face draining a heavy glass of Luna tea, which seemed to be big around here. We stopped at a door down a narrow hallway that was red carpeted as every carpet was in this place. "The bathroom is the last one on the right," she said pointing. "And fresh clothes—and everything is in there for you. If you need anything, Demetrius is just a door down from you, not that you would go knocking since you're both such great friends already."

I smiled and clamped my hand over the cool knob and leaned against the door. "Thanks, Raven," I said honestly.

She beamed, throwing her light hair over her shoulder so it traveled all the way down her chest to her hip. "It's no problem, half blood. Night." She marched off down the hall briskly, probably eager to get to bed and be done with babysitting for the night.

Getting caught up in hunger and everything else, I hadn't noticed how sleep crept up on me like someone had thrown a bag over my head. I pushed into the dark room and flicked on the light.

I walked over to the four poster bed and sunk down on to the smooth silk sheets that beckoned me with an eager finger. I sighed kicking my legs freely against the side, looking over to the stacks of clothes, towels, blankets and a small basket of toiletries on a brass buckled trunk at the end of the bed. I sighed looking out through the window that was framed with caramel golden curtains. The moon had served its time up in the sky and the tiny inklings of dawn approached.

With a groan I lied back against the sheets and without fighting, fell into sleeps soft clutches.

That night I dreamt of flying; leaping into the soft winds that caressed my face and whipped through my hair. I soared over mountains and dived down through thick heavy forests; so agile and crafty as I flapped my wings and bobbed and weaved through the air.

I'd been a long time since I'd felt that free.