Tangled in Tension.

Chapter 6.

When i made it up, i was stood at the part where you'd ring the bell but, there was no bell to ring. Only a pretty cool view to look at. The sun was still up but i reckoned it would've looked nicer while the sun was setting. Anyway, i walked over to the railing, where you could see the whole view of the school and past it. There was a couple of kids in the courtyard sat on the picnic benches, just talking and laughing. Looked like a teacher was walking around too so i didn't hang around the railing for too long since i didn't want to get caught.

Instead, i walked along the catwalk, taking in the view before i was met with a small set of stairs leading up to a belfry with alot of poles holding it up but this one didn't have gaurd railings around it. Nothing to stop you from falling. I walked up the stairs, taking my time and before i knew it, i was sat, leaning against a pole with my legs dangling down, taking in the view. From this side of the tower and the direction i was sat, you could really only see into the forest that was behind the school and some buildings and houses that were far away but it was still nice. I reached into my pocket shortly after i had sat down, laying my hands on my cigarette pack and my airpods. Figured this would be the most peaceful place to listen to music so, that's what i did.

I took a cigarette out and lit it first though, placing it in my mouth while i put in my airpods. After, i took my cigarette out of my mouth and grabbed my phone, opening Soundcloud. I just wanted to relax, smoke and listen to music but that wasn't going to happen. I had to be annoyed or upset about something. The first suggested playlist that came up was Erin's. It took me aback. I had already been upset with Brody reminding me of her, which wasn't Brodys fault, but this just put me in a much shittier mood. I hesitated over my phone for a minute, falling into a trance as all of the memories of us came rushing back. The thing that snapped me out of it was the cigarette ash burning my finger. I quickly flicked it off and glanced back down at my phone. My finger was still hesitating over it. Over her playlist. I sighed and clicked on it, revealing all of her favourite songs and artists. Zach Bryan was her all time favourite though. Her playlist was full of his songs, full of them but the top one , was 'Something in the Orange' by Zach Bryan.

I had already been dreading the upcoming one year anniversary of her death which's only a few days from now. The pain and wound of her death still felt raw. Seeing her playlist now, of all times, felt like salt on the wound. I couldn't escape the memories, nor did i want to, but it just hurt alot to be reminded of who wasn't here anymore.

I tapped on the song, 'Something in the Orange' and the familiar notes started to play. More memories flooded back when i did- our late night talks, the times we'd laugh 'till we couldn't breathe, the nights we'd sneak out just to smoke, and the countless times she played this song while we were doing those things. That and a rake of others but this one was special to her.

As the song played, tears began to well up in my eyes while i tried my hardest to surpress them, taking a drag of my cigarette to try and help. I tried to blink them away too, but they eventually spilled over, sliding down my cheeks. The pain of losing her was already bad enough, but the music, the lyrics in particular, seemed to amplify it. I still wiped my tears. I didn't like crying. I never did. I dug my head into my hands after i wiped them, listening carefully to every lyric, every word. And while i was doing that, in my own world, i hadn't even realised someone else was up in the belltower with me. Not until she nudged me with her foot. It startled me at first, almost dropping my cigarette but i managed to gather myself and barely turn around, getting a glimpse of who it was while i took my airpod out.

"You good?" Violet asked, a neutral expression on her face and her hands shoved into her pockets.

I sighed, rubbing my face with my sleeve. "Yeah." I said quickly, just wanting her to leave me alone. I was in no mood for company, especially not from someone who tried to fight me. But, to my surprise and i think hers too, she took a seat a few feet from me, propped up against a pole, just like i was.