it's a metaphor for consumerism, i think

chapter 4 oh its actually kind of serious now. sorry

"Artemy, this is getting annoying, talk to me." I crossed my arms, splaying my feet out in front of me.

"Fine." his voice was stern, and his eyes flicked to mine for only a second "The truth is.. Well, part of the truth is, is that I told Sticky to keep you away because I don't want you around him." Before I could interject, he held up a hand "The truth is, that I've been thinking very hard, since the Town hall meeting, after having an enlightening conversation with Dankovsky, and figured out some things don't add up."

My blood ran cold, but I didn't dare interject. He still seemed to be choosing his words very carefully, in some way, still trying not to hurt my feelings "There's something not right about you. I have wonderful memories of you in my childhood but when I ask Grief, or Lara, neither of them seem to share these experiences. Of course, you're a Steppe person, so it could just be that, but.." he opened his mouth, and then closed it "Well.. it.. the truth is, being around you scares me."

"Scares you?" I echoed dumbly, my eyes wide.

"Yes," he stopped for a second to adjust how he sat "yes, I.. When I'm around you I feel a distinct unease, together with the comfort. It's like a soft blanket when it's just too warm, and I don't quite.. want that around Sticky."

I didn't know what to say, I stared at him with eyes full of the hurt that I was feeling, and I was sure he could see it too. Then, finally I managed to utter "..So the town hall, Dankovsky feels it too..?"

"He didn't know about that." Artemy quickly clarified "But I.. I know for sure that's how I feel. Something isn't right about you, who you are, how you act, what you do, it's just.." he trailed off, then shook his head "I'm sorry, I said too much."

"Oh." I finally replied after a few seconds of silence. It felt all of the sudden, as if the world was just too heavy "I see."

"It's not your fault." Artemy replied, shuffling over to me, but I just leaned away "I'm sorry, I was just-"

"No, no." I waved him off, trying to bottle up the deep sadness I felt from the dilf in training rejecting me "No, that's.. that's alright. We'll leave it at that."

".. You're not.. a monster from the Steppe, are you?" He finally dared ask, and I shot him a glare.

"Obviously not. I'm just a human, a human with an unfortunate set of skills."

He swallowed, then nodded "I still care for you, it's just that.."

"Stop." my brows furrowed "Seriously, I.. No, this explains a lot. Why everyone is always like that around me, why they walk away, why.. such and such, so and so, even when I try so hard to be good, it's always like people expect the bad, isn't it?" Artemy didn't reply, so I continued without him "It's not that I aim to be unsettling. I aim to be kind, isn't that enough? Well, at least the children and Peter understand, at least I have them, if I can't lean on what I thought to be a long-time friend."

"I, no, hey now." He placed a tentative hand on my arm "It's not like that, I was just.."

"But you're scared of me, aren't you?"

He opened his mouth, then closed it, unsure of what to say. I wanted to continue, to chastise him further, but my words were interrupted by commotion outside.

Gunshots, first only a few, then several as one side opened fire on another. It was clearly coming from inside the building, so.. an uprising? Sweet. I stood to my feet, ignoring Artemy's "What are you doing?" as I walked towards the bars, trying to see what was going on out there.