Ineffable ? Joost Klein ?

24.

'Or do you not do that anymore now that you're wanting to step away?'

'Shut up, Donnie.'

'Step away?' Tantu's eyebrows arched as he spoke. 'What do you mean "step away"?'

'Nothing. It means nothing,' Joost quickly defended, but everyone was already exchanging looks of horror. Stuntje was the first to voice his concerns and Joost could have leapt across the room at the sight of Donnie's smirk.

'Joost, you don't seriously think that you can get rid of one person and that will be enough for you to settle down. What about us? What about the shop?'

'When were you thinking of telling us this? When we got the wedding invitation?' Daan cried.

'This isn't because of Elke-'

'Of course, it is!'

'No, it's not!'

The definitive tone in Joost's exclamation made Stuntje pause his argument. Everyone eyed the blonde who ran his hand down his face. He hadn't wanted this discussion because even he hadn't thought it out in its entirety. Donnie did as Donnie usually does and ran with what Joost had told him in confidence. Now, Joost was fending for his life in front of the people he had been with through thick and thin.

Sighing, Joost eyed each person in the room. He had known everyone a long time and he understood how Donnie's bomb would have caused panic in all of them. Enzo, Apson and Stuntje had been by his side from the beginning and they had made the same mistakes together. Daan, Tantu and Alanis had been in the game long enough for Joost to consider them just as important in his life. To them, the idea of Joost stepping away from the deals and business was like being giving a doomsday date.

'Look, it's been something that I've thought about for a while,' Joost started, resisting the grimace that came with every word. 'I thought it would be years until I would want to... "step away". When I was thirty or maybe even older, then I would have enough time for all of you to be secure to do the same.

But with what's been going on recently, with the shop and with Acid, I've started thinking about having a normal life before I'm old.'

And I don't want someone like Elke to slip away because I decided on doing this too late, he wanted to add. No matter how much he wanted to deny it in front of everyone, Joost wanted to be "normal" for Elke. The idea of waking up early, going to work and coming home to have a quiet evening was mundane to most, but Joost could think of nothing better if it was with her.

To see her amongst the bed sheets, in the kitchen, on her lunch breaks, fresh out of the shower and on the weekends was all Joost wanted. Elke was the perfect girl because she was ditzy, beautiful, intelligent and "normal".

'We get it, Joost. We all want that,' Apson said, matching the softer tone of his friend. When Joost looked to him, he saw Alanis doing the same. It was no secret that she longed for the day that Apson and her stepped away. Only for them, the workshop and the deals was all they had.

Alanis was skilled in tech but Apson was nowhere near as experienced in cars as Joost was. He helped where he could but his expertise layed with the deals and negotiations. He didn't finish highschool and had no drive to do anything else. But like Joost, Apson wished he could give Alanis a happy, safe and fulfilling life.

'But it's just not possible. Not right now,' Stuntje added.

It hurt to hear it come from someone other than Donnie. Joost said nothing as he lowered his head. He hated seeming so defeated. It wasn't often that Joost appeared vulnerable in front of his friends. He usually reserved that for when he was alone with Tantu or Apson.