Ineffable ? Joost Klein ?

33.

'Because I love you...'

It wasn't hard for Joost to admit it. He knew that he loved Elke before Roan was out of the picture. She occupied his thoughts every minute of the day. When he saw the way Roan treated her, Joost could only think how he would never do the same. He cut his hair and wore his glasses for her because she said she would like it. He took the backpack from her car and faced Nathan for her.

Elke met Joost's blue eyes, her shoulders sagging and her hands falling between her bent knees. He looked down at her and despite all that she had previously felt, Elke was still drawn to him.

Joost made her feel special and safe even though, unbeknownst to her, she hadn't been for months. Maybe that was why she still didn't care. With the target on her back, in the passenger seat of Joost's car, Elke still felt like she was untouchable.

'If I heard that Acid-I mean Nathan...' he corrected himself in a hurry 'was using you, I couldn't stop myself. When you said that he was being nice to you, I knew that he was up to something. Every day I saw you, I thought about telling you. I'm sorry, Elke. I'm sorry that you're involved. I'm going to do everything I can to get you out of it.'

Joost went to lower into a crouch in front of her. To stop him, Elke got up from the sofa and took hold of his face. His stubbled cheeks were rough against her palms. The cuts that were still healing on her fingers stared back at her but she ignored them. They tried to warn her to stop what she was doing. Elke now had no excuse to be foolish and naive. She had all she needed to walk away from Joost and his trouble. But when Joost's pleading eyes flickered down to her lips, Elke stood on her toes in sound mind.

She kissed Joost gently as her eyes slid shut. He immediately reacted and pressed his lips against hers in relief. The slap had stung and had settled some of his worries. If Elke hadn't reacted at all, Joost would have feared that he had lost her forever. But with her fingers sliding to line his jaw, Joost lifted both of his arms to sit on her waist, ignoring the pain in his shoulder.

When she pulled away, Elke stared at her boyfriend who she now knew fully. His pink lips were slick from their kiss and his blonde moustache was in need of a trim. He was perfect in his thick-rimmed glasses and with his flecks of platinum in his eyebrows. Elke was infatuated with Joost and she didn't question herself when she said,

'I love you, Joost. I don't care what trouble you're in. I trust you and I love you anyway.'

'You're too perfect. You're too trusting, schatje,' Joost's breath fanned her lips and Elke felt his hands hitch up her t-shirt. He cupped her sides, his pupils blown out against his bright irises. He loved her so much, her kindness wasted on someone like him.

'I know you can't promise me, but please, be careful. I don't want to lose you, too,' Elke said, blinking away the blur that Joost saw as a glassy sheen. He nodded, brushing his lips against hers before locking them in another kiss.

In Joost's bathroom, Elke slowly unwrapped the bandages around his middle. A First-Aid kit sat on the sink with supplies that Elke knew weren't in the average box. There were bottles of drugs with long names and surgical instruments that you would only find in a surgeon's operating room. The girl didn't question it and peeled back the layers of cloth.

Joost sat on the toilet seat and heard Elke's hissed curse at the bloodied mess on his collarbone. Daan had done an amazing job but while in a rush and without the proper training, the flesh held together by some black thread was raw. The same went for Joost's ribs, the gruesome wound pairing with the Pokemon tattoo on his other side.

'Which one do I use?' Elke held out three rolls of bandages, each varying in colour and material.

'That one. I need the compression to keep my shoulder from pulling at this,' Joost motioned over his collarbone and Elke heeded his advice.

'How many times has this happened before?'

'Not as often as you'd think. We're usually careful.'

Elke slowly rolled the bandages around Joost's shoulder as he held the other end against his chest. Unconsciously, her eyes scanned his arms and back from her view above him. Besides the random tattoos against his pale skin, Elke caught the scar above his shoulder blade. It was thin, just like the stitched up messes on his front.

'What's the one on your back? Is that from being shot?' she was scared for the answer. Joost inched his chin over his shoulder to the scar before looking up at Elke with a growing smile.

'That was when my brother hit me with a toy sword when I was a kid.'

'Oh.'

Joost chuckled at her defeated tone and pink cheeks. The image that Elke had painted in her head was cute. She thought that he was some gangster who had all these mysterious scars with badboy histories. But the truth was that Joost was still the same goof that Elke knew before today.

'Is this why you don't talk to your brother and sister anymore? To protect them?'

'Partially. It's more the fact that they won't talk to me. They lost sight of who I was when I dropped out of school to do the business. They obviously found out and didn't agree.'

Elke sensed a dull tone in Joost's voice. He took refuge in staring at the floor as she secured the bandage around his shoulder. To do his middle, Elke asked him to stand and he did so, towering over her. But even then, Joost continued to look down and hid his distant eyes.

'When was the last time you talked to them?' she asked.

'About five years ago,' Joost hummed. 'But it's for the best. I couldn't live with myself knowing that they were in danger because of me. It's almost a good thing that Mum and Dad never got to see the shit show I'm in.'

Pausing in her wrapping, Elke sneaked a look upwards. Joost stood unsmiling but there was no sign of hurt or sadness on his face. It was something that he had lived with for a long time. Losing his parents so young was a part of Joost and it had a great deal to do with how he was today. He owed his tough skin to the grief he went through as a teenager and owed his softness to the humbling it brought. But there was no point dwelling on it, not when Joost was practically disowned from the Klein name.

Elke didn't like to hear the harsh realities but said nothing. She didn't know what Joost was like to his siblings. Maybe one day, he would reach out to them and show them how different he was. Maybe they would see the side of him that made leaving Joost out of the question for Elke.

'What about my parents?' the thought came so quickly that Elke said it aloud. 'Could Nathan go after them?'

'Alanis logged their calls and saw they weren't being monitored. Don't worry, I made sure that they were safe.'

Elke wanted to laugh. She had wanted to introduce Joost to her parents at some point but it was almost like they had already met. Boyfriends were meant to be nervous about meeting their girlfriend's parents. Especially with Elke's father being a stoic divorcee, introducing Joost would be an event in itself. But then again, her parents never liked Roan, so the Joost they would meet would be a delight.

Using a bandage clip, Elke finished wrapping Joost's middle and started to pack away the First Aid kit. She stood in front of the mirror and caught the movement behind her in it's reflection. Arms wrapped loosely around her waist, making her look up to see Joost staring over her shoulder.

Their reflection was taken out of a movie. She stood with her patched up boyfriend whose danger did nothing to scare her away. His warm, bandaged front pressed against her back. Joost dropped his nose into her shoulder, his hold tightening around her. He breathed in and out before resting his chin where his nose had been to look at her in the mirror.

'You're so beautiful... don't ever change, Elke,' Joost said.

'Why would I change?'

'I did. I changed for the better with you. There is no better than you, so don't change for me.'

Elke stared at Joost. No matter how bad Joost was or how much he's claimed to have changed, Elke still saw the man in the doorway of 406. The lengths he had gone to for her was unlike anything anyone had ever done with her in mind. Joost was everything to her, and if she lost him, she feared who she would be after.