Crave For You

12: Catch Me If I Fall

For a second, he looks guilty. His eyes shift from me to the bed, his lips thinning. "My temper got the best of me."

"Does that justify the treatment?"

He challenges me with a raised brow, looking up. "Does that change the fact that you betrayed me?"

This time it is me who cringes at the reminder. The guilt rolls in again, the consequences of my actions coming back to shame me. I try to remember who I was at that point—a daughter, a fiancé, a mafia princess. What am I now? I have so much to ask of Gabriel, so much that I don't know.

But I know that it is still early. The wounds are fresh, both for him and me.

"My betrayal was for family," I clarify, flinching as I raise my head and find him close enough that he shares my personal space.

His eyes flick over my face, slowly and deliberately, the hands on both sides clenching the duvet.

"You could have come to me. I'd have been there for you."

"My father wouldn't have told you where she was. I wasn't even sure she was alive. I took a chance."

I jerk as his hand brackets my neck, tilting my head to the ceiling. His breath assaults my lips when he speaks. "A chance that'd have ruined me."

I place my hand over his, forcing my determined gaze to his. "I double-encrypted the drive before it went to him," I reveal, not sure why I kept it hidden before. "Not even the devil can find the key to that."

His grip relaxes, the rough hand slipping down to my tangly hair. He takes the end and rounds it thrice along the width of his finger.

"That confident, huh?"

I swallow, my mouth feeling sticky and my head dizzy at his proximity. "I'm not smart. I know my weaknesses but if I trust in something, it's my skills."

"Skills your Dante taught you?"

Dante's name slips from his tongue like dirt. My heart clenches as my last memory of Dante brings back the claustrophobic air of Giovanni's mansion, his panicked expression as he unchained me, his determined look as he placed himself between and the soldiers.

I feel my eyes heavy with tears. Once again, I let them disappear, not risking a fall.

"You take his name like he were ashes and dust too." Gabriel faces me with a different sort of agony written over his face. I identify that as longing. I have seen that look on him before, particularly when we were in bed together. "Did you kill him?"

He lets his hand drop from my hair. "What do you think?"

"He saved my life," I argue, not sounding convinced enough because my stomach is suddenly ruling my thoughts—hunger making everything I say emotionally charged. "He didn't deserve death."

"Luce mia..." Gabriel's whisper floats over my cheek. My eyes close, the spicy scent of his cologne hindering my ability to think straight. "Your Dante protected you. In that way, he has my protection too."

I yank open my eyes, staring into the abyss of his.

"He's alive?"

"Regretfully," he bites out. That says a lot of his well wishes for Dante.

He hates the guy. I'm sure parts of him long to kill him. Yet, he didn't. He chose to spare Dante. What am I supposed to think of that? After betraying him, after destroying our wedding day, after ruining every chance of us... He is still here, protecting me. Keeping me safe.

"You shouldn't have saved me," I blurt out, weighed in by my thoughts. "I don't deserve your kindness."

He cups my face this time. I hiss as he breezes fingers over the spot where I was slapped by Giovanni and his soldiers. I'm afraid to look in the mirror of his eyes in fear. I must look battered and irreparable, like a toy that was thrown off by a child and could never fix itself again. It remained forgotten. Just like I will.