Cote: Elite in Action

SS: Honami Secrets of the Heart

Others seemed to notice the change, even though no one mentioned it directly. Mako-chan and Yuki-chan would glance at me sideways when passing by Kayden, as if they knew something I didn't. That feeling of being watched only made me feel more insecure, as if I were the only one who didn't understand what was really happening.

...

Kayden was trapped in the mall elevator. The first thing I felt was panic. He shouldn't be hurt or in danger, but just the fact that something was wrong with him made a knot of worry form in my stomach. And worst of all, he had called for me. Why me, after so long without talking? Did he still trust me despite our distance?

Without thinking too much, I hurried to the place. All the confusion I had been feeling those days disappeared completely, as if I could only focus on one thing: helping him. At that moment, nothing else mattered. The questions, the frustration, the resentment over how I had seen him with other girls, all buried under a single priority: he needed me.

Upon arrival, I informed the staff so the elevator could work again. I was relieved, almost relaxed, thinking I would soon see him come out of there, safe, as if this were nothing more than a minor inconvenience. But I wasn't prepared for what I saw.

When the elevator doors finally opened, the world around me stopped. Kayden was there, but he wasn't alone. There was a girl with him, pressed against his chest. And he was shirtless, his skin glistening under the elevator lights, covered in sweat.

The impact was instant, brutal. Everything I had felt before, all that panic and worry, transformed into something completely different. I couldn't process it, I couldn't understand what I was seeing. My mind couldn't accept what my eyes were witnessing. Images began to appear, assumptions, vague ideas I didn't even want to have. But they were impossible to ignore. The scene looked so intimate, so close, so completely wrong.

The pain hit me before I could even react. It wasn't just jealousy; it was a mix of betrayal, frustration, and a fury I didn't know how to control. He had called for me, I had rushed over without hesitation, and now I found myself with this. I wanted to think there was a logical explanation, but I couldn't help but let my emotions overflow. Everything I had felt for him in those days, all those repressed feelings, exploded all at once.

I couldn't stay there another second. I turned around and left without saying a word. I knew he was following me, trying to talk to me, but I couldn't face this, not at that moment. The knot in my throat, the pain in my chest, was too much. I couldn't look him in the eyes after what I had seen.

Why did it hurt so much? I knew the answer, even though I didn't want to admit it: because I cared more than I was willing to accept. I cared more than I wanted to show. And now, seeing that closeness with another person, seeing that intimacy so clear, made me feel small and powerless.

I had made a mistake. By pulling away from him, by not telling him how I felt, I had created this distance between us. And now, because of my own insecurity, I had pushed him even further away. But how could I do the opposite? How could I confess my feelings to him, risk being rejected? If I did, and he didn't feel the same... I couldn't bear it. Kayden had become someone irreplaceable to me. Losing him was a constant fear I couldn't shake from my mind.

But now, the fear was closer than ever. And I had provoked it myself.

...

It was impossible to avoid it. Every day, every morning, I felt him behind me. Even when we didn't speak, when we exchanged not a single word, his presence remained firm. Sitting just behind me, Kayden was always close, yet at the same time, so unreachable. It was a painful contradiction, knowing that I only had to turn my head to see him, but feeling that the short distance between us was an abyss.