A Crystal Love

Chapter 51 - Baby Blues

"Just you."

*

Shortly after we returned, I met up with Sasha and Devin. Not so much to salvage our project, because that had to go on without me, and from what I heard, it was a complete success and I am grateful for the initial contribution I had towards it...However, this meeting was just to smooth things over about the way I left, and make sure we were all on good terms. It felt important to leave things friendly and open between us.

With that wrapped up, and a delicate pregnancy making it tough to commit to any new work or projects that required a heavy commitment, I found myself with quite a bit of time on my hands. So, while Roman spends most of his days, and some nights, at work, I've been at home mostly, pouring my energy into setting up the nursery-getting everything just perfect for our baby's arrival in a few weeks. Each day feels full of meaning, each moment a quiet build-up to the new life soon joining us.

Still, there was some time to spare, so I began working on my art project again with Pierre, and everything was going so well that we decided to move forward with the exhibition now, rather than waiting until after the baby arrives. I know I'll want to spend those first couple of months fully focused on caring for the baby...and by the time I will want to do the exhibition, we will have to start from scratch, making all our efforts now, futile.

Pierre and Tom have been very helpful in spear heading the preparations, making sure everything is moving smoothly, but as the day drew nearer, so did my trepidation levels. However, I had already committed to it, so I have no choice but to go ahead with it, especially that the exhibition is tonight.

*

Today Roman comes home earlier than usual-probably because of the exhibition tonight. I hear his voice in the hallway, chatting quietly with my mom.

"She's in the baby's room." she says gently.

"Still feeling a bit down?" he asks. I frown.

Oh, Mom! really? Did you have to tell him?

I just hope she didn't call him from work to tell him that.

I told her earlier today that I been feeling increasingly overwhelmed and anxious as the exhibition date grew closer..It would be easy to say it's because of the pregnancy, but if I'm honest, that's not the whole story.

The truth is, I'm feeling nervous about putting my art out there, vulnerable to people's judgments and critiques. With my hormones all over the place, my emotions have been unpredictable lately and I am just terrified to get slammed. I shared this with her in confidence... I didn't expect her to tell anyone else.

I want to be mad at her for telling on him, but I can almost hear the concern in her voice, and I sigh, feeling a mixture of guilt and gratitude.

"Alright, thanks Faith..." Rome says and I hear his footsteps draw near.

I find myself frowning again.

When I initially decided to go ahead with the exhibition, I thought 'why not', Yes I was pregnant, but pregnant women do stuff and accomplish things all the time...I was feeling well and energetic and creative and inspired and decided to go for it. Even though Rome initially thought it would be better to do everything after the baby is born, so I don't overwhelm myself, he has been very supportive of my decision to go head

Which is why I kind of don't want to admit to him that I feel overwhelmed. I wanted to accomplish something for myself, before the baby is born and I become a mother.

Now everything seems to have come together pretty well, I should be on top of the world right now, instead, my feet are tired and swollen, I don't feel like my best self right now and just want to be alone for abit.