Through the Ashes

Chapter 7

"I love you too," I promise and lay back down with her. She falls asleep almost instantly but the weight of my lie makes it hard to fall asleep.

When we wake up, we spend the rest of the day at Kasie's house, talking and playing different games, ignoring the conversation that we previously had. I try to ignore the searing pain in my head from another color vision.

The next day, I go to the comedy club again, fortunately finding Ben outside. We decided to meet up after his shift on the surface, where he lives.

"Why'd you want to live up here?" I ask, once we are sitting outside his shack of a home.

"I don't know. I've always thought it was a bit cramped down there," he explains, making a face.

"I get that. That pretty lady still your girlfriend?"

"Yes indeed. She's in metalworking, if you don't remember."

I sit up a bit straighter. "I don't. Isn't that really dangerous?"

He sighs and hangs his head. "Yeah it is. I tried to convince her otherwise but she loves what she does. And she says it gives good pay."

I pat his shoulder. "She good at it?"

He brightens at this. "Yeah she is! You should see some of the stuff she brings home."

"I'd love too," I say happily and Ben disappears inside. Victoria has always been such a good person and the fact that she stays in such a risky job for slightly better pay is no surprise.

"Okay, I got her best work here," Ben says, stepping out the house and holding something under a grimy sheet. He sets it down on the table between us and rips the sheet of. "Behold."

Sitting on the wood is a large and beautifully sculpted work depicting a large bird flying off with a fish between its talons, waves crashing up from the pedestal. "That's amazing," I whisper. "What kind of bird is this?"

"I'm not too sure actually. When Vic gave it to me, she said it was an extinct bird. Something called a bald eagle. It used to be the symbol of America I think."

"It's beautiful."

On the last day I have at home, I tell Ryan and Aisling the same thing I told Kasie. Aisling cries and Ryan's reaction is strangely neutral. There's a sympathetic look in her eye for Aisling but she tells me to do what I think is best for me.

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" Aisling says unhappily, leaning her head against my shoulder.

"I don't know."

"Is that why you said sorry to Ryan a few days ago?" she asks quietly.

"No, no of course not, Aisling. I love you and Ryan so much and she didn't deserve what I said," I explain, wrapping my arms tighter around her. "If I wanted to fix all I have done wrong before I left, there wouldn't be enough time."

"Don't say that, Sam. You're a good person," Ryan says, rubbing my shoulder.

"Doesn't mean I haven't done bad."

I take the rest of the day to myself. I mostly walk around the Crypts, exploring places I've never been before. There's some higher levels with interesting shops made by disabled people, people who won't be able to do any assigned jobs so they create their own instead. Also lower levels where the absolutely unemployed reside. They were said to have defeated poverty years ago but I always knew it was a lie. I go deeper and deeper until I'm one level above the bottom of the Crypts. I pull the crumpled peace of paper out of my pants. "'Opposite of prison entrance,'" I repeat. "This can't be good."