Unexpected Encounters | Tom Riddle

VI: Shattering the Illusion

By the time Harry and Theo's father died, it was too late. Their relationship hadn't been feasible anymore, there was too much to lose.

A sad smile ghosted her lips when she remembered how they had been silly together. Always messing around and sharing quiet nights in the Astronomy tower, pouring their heart out to each other. Talking about their childish dreams and fears.

Lilia didn't have dreams anymore. She waited for death to come take her and yet, she didn't want to die at the same time. What was the point? She had lost the people who mattered to her. Her brother, her friends, her partner.

In 1943, she didn't know anyone other than her friends who, ironically, were the reason why she would lose everything in the future.

She headed to her DADA classes, smiling at someone who reminded her of her lost friend.

Caspian Lovegood. Luna's grandfather. DADA was another Slytherin-Ravenclaw class and it reassured her that this combination had been around for a long time. That's how she befriended Draco and Theo after all in their memorable first potions class together.

"Lilia!" Caspian exclaimed when she walked up to him, pulling a chair to sit down.

"How have you been?" She asked him, taking out her parchment paper and quill. "I have been trying to catch sight of some thestrals around Hogwarts. It's so hard because I can't see them." "Oh. I could come with you and try to see if we can find them together?" "You would be able to see them, wouldn't you? You lost people to the war."

The overenthusiastic tone that he used made her flinch, his words slashing through her heart.

"Yes-" "Lilia, no that came out wrong. Please, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." Caspian looked so guilty, having switched up from his previously excited font. "It's fine." She gave him a strained smile.

Tom was right in front of her, sitting next to Tiernan and Icarus, and they all turned to look at each other when they heard the conversation behind them. Icarus turned to glare at Caspian while Tom gave him a dark stare, making it obvious that he had said the wrong thing.

She gulped when her eyes met Tom's, who turned back around when Professor Merrythought walked in.

Caspian Lovegood was a sweet man but he didn't pick up on situational cues very well. No one in the classroom could understand her, they hadn't seen death or lost their loved ones to murder.

Tom was most likely the only one, having grown up in a muggle orphanage in the middle of London. She shuddered again when she realised they had more similarities: they had seen death and they were both orphans.

"Hello class! For today, we will be using a boggart. Now, who can tell me what is a boggart?" Lilia tuned out Professor Galatea Merrythought's voice, wondering what her boggart would be. There had been so many horrors with the war and she wasn't even sure if she only had one fear or multiple.

All too soon, they were lining up to test out the boggart. She felt nauseous, especially knowing that her friends were behind her since the lineup started from the back of the class. The students in front of her had different fears, ranging from butterflies to storms (One of them had a fear of quills, which she found strange).

She stood in front of the cupboard with the boggart when it was her turn. Her hands trembled slightly while the professor opened the door. She watched warily to see what would come out. But nothing prepared her for what was on the ground: Harry who whispered a question. Why did you get to live?

She held out her wand and took a deep breath in. She cast the Riddikulus charm, watching her brother turn into a balloon and fly away. Stepping away to watch the others, she felt her stomach churning as guilt ate away at her again.

Why did she live? Why, why, why?

Tom's boggart had been Ms. Cole, but he was already expecting that. After countering it, he walked to where Lilia was, watching the latter getting paler. He had seen her boggart, a boy who somewhat looked like her questioning why she was still alive. It had been peculiar and she had been quick to turn it away but he knew better. Did she feel guilty about being alive after France?

"Rousseau." His voice startled her and she flinched slightly. "I have to go." She muttered, quickly opening the door and heading out, the professor too busy to notice. He sighed and debated whether he should follow her for a split second before rushing after her.

"Rousseau!" She stopped and turned back to look at Tom, hyperventilating. "I- can't breathe," she whispered, taking in painful breaths of air.

"Deep breaths. In and out." He guided her, helping her regulate her breathing. When she calmed down, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes while her forehead rested against the cool stones. "You can ask for an exemption if it would help," Tom suggested, leaning sideways against the wall. "No, it's not that bad," she replied, indignation flaring in her chest. Did he think her weak like that? "You really suck at taking care of yourself." "What do you want me to do?" She burst out, not intending to shout at him.

One glance at Tom and she saw the way his eyes darkened. With his jaw clenching and a deep furrow, he approached her.

She backed away, turning away from the wall and ending up with her back against the cool bricks while apologising in a small voice. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." She looked down at her shoes when he stopped right in front of her.

"You need to learn your own boundaries. You're not weak for having flashbacks, you were affected by a dangerous war." Tom Riddle kept surprising her. She had expected him to burst out at her, ask her how she dared speak to him in that tone. Instead, he was insightful and sympathetic.

The realisation softened her up and she sighed. "I keep trying to forget about everything, but it's so difficult."

His eyes lit up at the realisation that she was opening up to him but his heart ached when he took in how hurt she looked. "Don't make yourself forget, Lilia. It will only make things worse for you in the long run." It was sane advice, he was right.

"You sound wise, Tom." She remarked with a small smile. "Deflecting again?" "I'm not comfortable talking about it." "Of course. Just don't be so harsh on yourself."

Lilia slowly felt herself warming up to Tom, reassured by the fact that he wasn't like Voldemort.

Yet . 

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I love the hurt/comfort dynamic here