Spiritual Networking

Spiritual Networking - Chapter 6

if they r going 2 do it again?

HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
bcause it is not 4 them
it is for us
we can’t move on with our lives
and harbor hate

MilliVanilli:
but what if u don’t even know the person

HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
4giveness comes from the <3
not the words spoken
don’t get me wrong
saying the words is closure
but b4 u can say the words
4giveness has 2 come from the <3

MilliVanilli:
i guess
but i don’t know if i can

HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
y?
what do u think is stopping u?

MilliVanilli:
u know what he did
i don’t know if i can ever 4give

HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
is he the only 1?
that u can’t 4give?

MilliVanilli:
the 1 that comes to mind

HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
what about ur father?

MilliVanilli:
y?
u mean 4 not supporting me
after the attack

HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:

yeah

MilliVanilli:
i was use to it
that was dad
if he would have reacted any other way
that would have surprised me

HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
how do u feel about ur dad
always doing that?

MilliVanilli:
it use 2 bother me
i use 2 hate it
but now...just use 2 it

HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
but did u forgive him?

MilliVanilli:
i don’t get it
y?

HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
u just said ur self
u use 2 hate it

MilliVanilli:
so bcause of that?
the years of dropping the ball?
putting things before me?

Suddenly as she typed, realization hit Millie, he was right. She didn’t hate her father like she did the man that hurt her, but she was carrying around baggage from before that night. Her father not coming to piano recitals as a child, work always coming before family, putting on a show for others to name him Father of the Year, yet not see the real man that was basically a stranger to his wife and daughters. She needed to forgive him.

“God, please help me to forgive my father and the man that hurt me. Help me to overcome my fears, in Jesus name. Amen.”

MilliVanilli:
u r right

HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
if every1 was as good as u
my job would b easy
:-)

MilliVanilli:
now don’t get all stuck on urself!
:-)



One day after a staff meeting, Sydney asked Paul to meet her for coffee later on that afternoon. When he arrived, she started quizzing him about what was going on in his life.

“I just hardly ever see you anymore. I want to hear what is new,” Sydney had been informed by several people in Paul’s Virtual Bible Study that he had met someone online. They could not give her any more information than that, so she thought she would invite him to coffee and get him to spill the beans, so to speak, over a cup of coffee.

“Things are going good. Virtual Bible Study is great. We have new people joining every week.”

“Anyone from church? That I would know?” Sydney raised an eyebrow to emphasize her question.

“Yeah, Emily and Julie,” Paul said with a smile. He knew that she already knew they joined because they were all really good friends. That was when he figured out that she knew about Millie. He had been tight lipped about it and only told his mother and RealityCheck, a good friend from college that joined his Virtual Bible Study. “And I think you already know what else is new. Don’t you?”

“About the girl you met? Yeah, I know. What is going on with that?”

“Syd, you know I can’t tell you everything,” Paul looked over at her with a guarded smile. Millie may not go to church, but he considered those he ministered on the Internet his church. He was not about to tell Sydney or anyone else things Millie or anyone else had told him in confidence.

“I am not asking about her because she is a ‘member of your flock’, I am asking because ever since you figured out what I am talking about, you have this different look on your face. One like someone in love. But, I know that can’t be true because you have never met her. Right? Tell me I right. Please?”

“I can’t explain it Syd, so don’t ask me to. It is different.”

“Paul, I don’t know. You don’t know anything about this person. Are you even sure it is a woman?” Sydney was worried about her friend, but she also didn’t want him to get his hopes up for this perfect woman and then have it blow up in his face when he found out she was lying or something.

“Syd, I have been getting to know her for the past six months. The things she has shared with me, she needs help overcoming her fears. I don’t want to get into that with you because it is something I can’t share. But, she needs a friend and I am going to be there for her.”

Sydney took a sip of her coffee and then shook her head, “But, what makes you think she is telling you the truth. She could be feeding you a line and then get you invested in her ‘story’ and then try to get money or something.”

“She is not like that. I know her.”

“You wouldn’t even know her if she walked into this coffee shop right now!”

“Yes I would,” Paul got very defensive. “I have seen a picture of her and I would recognize her anywhere.”

“Paul,” Sydney said shaking her head again, “You are smarter than this. How do you know that she did not just download the picture from Google or something? She could be playing you and I don’t want to see you get played.”

“Sydney,” Paul took a deep breath, “I appreciate your concern and wanting to protect me. I do this for a living, meet people online and minister to them. I think I could tell if she was lying to me or playing me.”

“But,” Sydney stopped him, “this is different than the others. I can tell in your voice and your eyes. There is more you are not telling me.”

“Nothing that matters.” Paul took a sip of his coffee and tried to avoid the stare of his best friend, the person that could tell his mood with a single look across the room. He knew he could not hide things from her when she is only sitting across the table.

“You LOVE her!?! Don’t deny it. I can see it.”

“She won’t meet me. So, it doesn’t matter.”

Paul shook his head and Sydney could tell that he was sad and maybe even a little depressed. She wondered how this had happened without her knowing about it.

“Talk to me. We have never had any secrets. Paul, I love you, no matter what. I want what is best for you. Just ask yourself if these feelings are what is best for you? Maybe you should stop all contact with her.”

“NO! I can’t do that. No matter what I feel, she deserves a friend.” Paul took a sip of his now lukewarm coffee.

Sydney looked up at him, reached across the table and placed her hand on his. “Paul, I know what it is like to love someone and not have them return those feelings. I know how bad this is for you, how much you hurt. I don’t want to see you hurting.”

“I am sorry things did not work out for us,” Paul said as he slowly pulled his hand away so he would not offend her. “But, this is not like that. She has feelings for me, but she can’t see past her fear. So, I am going to do what I can to be her friend. And if the time should ever come where she lets go and lets God heal her, then I will be there.”

“Do you even know where she lives? Do you know anything about her family? Do you know anything about her that sends up warning flags?” Sydney reached out to him again, but pulled her hand away when she saw the look in Paul’s eyes.

“No I don’t know where she lives. She has a sister and both parents. And no reason to think that she has or will lie to me.” This time, it was Paul’s turn to reach across the table and take Sydney’s hand. “Syd, I know her on a different level than anyone I have ever known. Our whole relationship has been based on honest communication. There are things that she has shared and things that I have shared that no one else in the world knows.”

“Look Paulie, I know we did not work out. I understand. I get that. But, just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean that there is not a girl out there for you. I know a lot of great single women at church and stuff. Please let me set you up with someone?” Sydney’s eyes were pleading and she squeezed his hand, wishing he would let her do this for him, but knowing the answer as soon as she said it and saw the look on his face.

“I can’t not right now. Maybe in a year or two, but right now I want to concentrate on my ministry. And if something should happen between Millie and I, great! But, if not, then I will have to be OK with that.” He squeezed her hand back, “Just like you have had to be OK with us not working out.”

“OK.” Sydney said, “But the offer still stands. Let me know if you want me to set you up with anyone. I love you, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, and I love you too.”