A Walk Through Hell *ABANDONED*

A Walk Through Hell 8

He doesn't speak to me, but he speaks to Skylar, and soon the paramedic.  

As the paramedics left me onto the strecher, and walk me out of the bathroom, towards the ambulence, I look at Jaimie.

"I'm sorry."   I mouth. 

He just looks at me, as Skylar cries into Paul's sholder, and Paul himself even let's out a tear.    I've hurt people in the past, and people have hurt me.  I'm so used to seeing them cry, but when I see Jaimie let out a tear it hits me.   It hits me when I'm in the hospital, it hits me when I'm getting my arms bandaged, it hits me when they're trying to give me therapy, and it hits me harder when I get to go home a week later.   A man from the hospital takes me back to my own house, not Jaimie's house.   My mother greets me, and Tom takes me bags.   My sister asks questions, but no one answers them.  No one's questions seem to be answered. Not when I'm taking the medications they'd perscribed me, not when I'm eating dinner at the table with my family, my new step dad and all, and not when my mom sets me free.  

"Jaimie's called for you, and I think it's time I let you go see him." She smiles.  I nod.  I'd stopped talking, socially, since the incident.   I hug her, kiss her on the cheek, and leave the house.  As I walk towards Jaimie's house, a smile grows on my face.   It grows even larger when I wring the bell, and he answers.

"Liz!" He smiles, wrapping his arms around me.

"I missed you."  I say, hugging him.   He kisses my temples, and lifts me up.  He spins me around like I'm a little girl, and my heart sings as I giggle giddily in his arms. 

"Did she just speak?" I hear in the background.   It was Paul's voice.   Paul had visited me numerous times in the hospital, and once I'd come home.  Though Jaimie tried to visit, my mother wouldn't allow him.  I didn't blame Jaimie, but she did. 

I smile as Paul walks over and greets me as well. His embrace is just as warm as Jaimies.  

"It feels like I never left."  I smile.  My voice has quieted since my trip to the hospital.   I'm not afraid, but I just can't seem to use it the way I used to.  

"You didn't cheat on me in the hospital, did you?" Jaimie laughs, kissing me softly.  I don't decline his lips, I embrace them.  I've missed his kisses, and his hugs, and his smiles.  As I wrap my arms up around his neck, my sleeve rolls back, exposing the now scars upon my wrists.  I try to pull them back, but to no prevail.  When I pull away from Jaimie, Paul takes my wrist, and examines it.  He kisses the palm of my hand, and pulls me in to another hug. 

"Hey. Can we be alone?" Jaimie says, taking me by the hand.  

I look at Paul, and smile.  Paul's gone back to over-protective brother mode.  He nods, and Jaimie and I walk outside.   We walk down the street a while, before he finally speaks.

"What happened?" He says, looking at the ground.

"What do you mean?" I ask, I'm trying to play dumb, but it doesn't seem to work.

"You know what I mean, Liz."  He sighs. 

"Oh, that..." I say. "Well,I guess it's best to start from the beginning.  When I was younger, and my sister had killed herself, I'd dropped into an unescapable depression.  I'd sleep most of my days away, and refuse to go to school.  How I passed the 8th grade escapes me. My mother had decided it best, that we move here, to Redwood.  Which I guess in a way did help, I'd made new friends, and things began to look up.  But when my mother met Tom, things began to tumble downward. I lost all of my friends, and eventually I even cut all my hair off.  That was the first time I cut myself," I pause, showing Jaimie my upper arms, towards my inner elbow I'd held numerous scars. "But eventually Paul found out, and he tried to help me, which he did.  We weren't the greatest friends, but I guess a person saving you from suicide really does make you connect with them.... And then eventually, somewhere in there I met you, and I was really happy. I was the happiest I'd been since Destiny's death.  But then I heard that my best friend back home, Her name was Emily, she'd passed away, hers also due to suicide, which I found out later, and I guess I was so sick of losing people, and moving, and losing others, I just wished I was dead.  So I did something about it..."  He stops me, wrapping his arms around me.   He lets out a few tears, and eventually his tears turn to sobs. 

"I was so scared I was going to lose you."  His tears fall into the roots of my hair, as I rub his back. 

"I don't know what I would do if I lost you," he continues.  "You're the love of my life."   He releases me from the hug, and gets down on one knee.  I cover my face with my hands.  Could this really be happening? 

"Elizabeth Stephanie Marie Brokesby, Will you marry me?"   He says, looking up into my eyes. 

My eyes well up with tears, and I nod furociouslly.  "Yes."  I sob.  This is a happy sob though,  the love of my life, has just proposed to me.  He stands, and I jump into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist.   He kisses me over and over again, in between kisses I utter the word "yes." 

Eventually we do return home, and through the entire walk home, I stare down at the ring around my finger.

Before we walk into the house, I look up at Jaimie.

"I love you."