High Infidelity - BOT ?

surface level

He could lie and say he wasn't but it was blatantly obvious. I could see it in the way he looked at her, and in the way he threatened my life anytime I mentioned speaking to her.

"How is it the eejit with his ears pierced gets the most pussy?" Marcus huffed, glaring at me.

"What can I say? The ladies love 'em," I winked. 

I had gotten my ears pierced last year. It was a spur of the moment decision, one my friends made fun of me for, but it's proven to be rather beneficial.

"The ladies are delusional," Tadhg sighed, plucking the jumper from my hand. "You're lucky it was your hoodie they sabotaged and not something else."

"Oh, speaking of ladies," Marcus gave me a wide eyed stare. "Clara mentioned her friend Sage wants you dead."

Clara being his sister, one of the friends of Sage.  I knew she'd be pissed, I could see it in her eyes when she saw me in bed with that blonde. She attempted to act unaffected, her confidence only wavering for a second—but I saw it. The unmistakable look of hurt flashing in her eyes.

I did feel bad, sort of. I would've slept with Sage had she not gotten sick, and I'm sure it would've been amazing. She was beautiful in an obvious way. With dark curls, big brown eyes—so dark they were almost black—and a face that you had to admire.

I guess I should have been a gentleman, waited around and made sure she was alright. But I needed a rush, a high, one that I could only get from an orgasm. I'm sure she thought I was a prick or a douchebag or a million other things, but I couldn't help it. I was a whore, there was no changing that.

"Is that the one you were dancing with? Ivory's friend?" Tadhg's interest peaked, obviously due to the prospect of Ivory being in the conversation.

"Yep, that's the one," I nodded. "And I'm not surprised, she's just another on the long list of women I've pissed off."

"You're a class act, Moore," Marcus snorted.

I laughed, ignoring the weird twist in my stomach. I didn't feely guilty often, but when I did it ate me alive.

I think this was one of those rare cases. Maybe because Sage and I knew the same people. Usually it was a simple hook up and they were off my radar, but this girl was connected to me.

We had mutual friends and that's when shit got messy. That's how lines got blurred and feelings started to form—two things I avoided like the plague.

Sage would complain to Clara, Clara would tell Marcus and then Marcus would relay the information to me. It was bound to make me feel like an asshole and for the seed of guilt to be planted in the depths of my tiny heart.

Guilt I didn't want to feel, guilt I wanted to stay far away from.

"Being classy is overrated," I shrugged, pushing down the feelings growing in my gut.

It was easier not to feel, even though all I chased was feelings. I wanted good feelings—lust, ecstasy, serenity—anything but feelings that were complex. I liked it easy, I liked to keep things surface level.

Because that's how I wanted to be kept. I didn't want people to break through my surface, I didn't want them to see what lived beyond it, lurking in the depths of me.

I wanted to just be Callum—the friend who was never seen as serious, the friend who didn't even have a surface to break. Maybe it was shallow, but that's all I wanted to be seen as.

Shallow. Possessing no depth.

Seeing as the depths of me were dark, hidden tragedies that were meant to stay within. For some that might've been sad—hiding your life from everyone—but to me it was necessary.

It was a lifeline, it kept me in the shallow end. It hid me from my own depth, from my own reality.

So maybe that's why I went to sex, it was another surface level act. It wasn't like love, which made you plunge into the deepest parts of someone's soul. It was simple, easy, and you didn't need to break the surface. You didn't need to do anything but glide along it.

And that's how I liked it.

I didn't think that had to be a bad thing. But from the way they talked about it, sometimes it made me feel icky. As if I were doing something wrong.

"What'd you do to the girl anyway?" Tadhg asked, dropping onto one of the chairs on my front porch.

"He left Sage puking to go stick his dick in someone else," Marcus answered for me.

His sister had obviously told him the story.

Tadhg gaped at me, acting as if I had personally offended him.

"What?" I furrowed my brows at them, "you don't see me standing here judging either of you."

"Because we've not done anything," Marcus countered, looking rather smug.

"As of now," I shot back. "I didn't judge you when Britney was telling everyone you lasted thirty seconds in bed! I patted you on the back and congratulated you for losing your v-card."

I turned my gaze towards Tadhg, "And you. I didn't judge you when Selena said you fingered her like you were playing tic-tac-toe! I gave you an educated lesson on how to please a woman."

They both closed their mouths, giving me nods of appreciation.

"That's what I thought," I scoffed. "So quit judging me for actually getting some."

"Still, you could've at least checked that she was alright," Tadhg offered, with a shrug.

"I did! I asked if she was okay before leaving," I muttered.

"Oh well, that makes it just fine," Marcus chuckled, shaking his head.

"Who cares? It's not like I'll be seeing her ever again," I huffed.

At least I hoped I wouldn't. Sage would probably tear my eyes out—something I wasn't exactly into.

So I hoped for my safety we'd steer clear of each other.