Shadows of Identity

Chapter 4: The Unnatural Silence

“You alright?” Sky asked, brows furrowed.

“Y-Yeah,” Nani muttered. “Just... slipped.”

“You never slip.”

The words were quiet, but heavy. Nani blinked, deadpanned. "I’m a human.”

Sky gave him a look but didn’t respond. But he didn’t look away, either.

He squared his shoulders and tried again to walk like his brother—calm, steady, always in control. But his feet were clumsy. His hands twitched nervously when people saluted. He gave awkward replies to greetings. Something always felt a little off.

At the main briefing room, Dew handed him a file. “New lead. Check page six. We’ll meet in fifteen.”

Nani took the file and nodded, trying to keep his face neutral. Once he was alone, he opened it.

It was filled with codes, maps, mission intel—things he had never been trained to understand. His head spun just looking at it. What did these symbols mean? What the hell was a triangulation trace report? How did MJ even read this stuff so easily?

He tried to study it, flipping through the pages faster and faster, panic creeping in.

What if they found out?

He couldn’t ask anyone for help. MJ wouldn’t ask. MJ would already know.

He took deep breaths, trying not to cry. This wasn’t just about fooling the team—it was about not letting MJ down. He couldn’t afford to look weak. But inside, he was crumbling.

---

In the briefing room, Dew, Tee, Junior, and Mark were already seated. When Nani walked in, everyone turned. He nodded like MJ would, serious and silent—but his eyes betrayed him. Dew and Junior exchanged a glance.

Tee smiled, trying to lift the mood. “You look… different today. Lighter. Did someone finally get you to eat mint choco ice cream?”

The room chuckled.

“I don’t hate mint choco ice cream,” Nani mumbled.

Silence.

MJ hated that mint choco ice cream.

Awkward laughter followed, but Dew’s brows furrowed.

---

Later, walking through the hallway alone, Nani found himself lost. Literally. He turned left instead of right and ended up at the storage area instead of the washroom.

He panicked for a moment, heart pounding. If someone saw him like this—

“Need directions?” Sky’s voice came from behind.

Nani froze. He turned slowly, trying to smile. “Just... uh, thinking.”

“Toilets aren’t usually in the file storage room.”

“I took a detour,” Nani joked.

Sky stepped closer, expression unreadable. “You’re acting weird.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not MJ right now.”

Nani’s breath caught.

But Sky didn’t mean it literally. He added softly, “You’re not yourself.”

That hurt even more.

“I’m just tired,” Nani whispered, lowering his gaze. “Don’t worry.”

Sky nodded slowly, though his eyes never left him. “Okay. But I’m watching.”

Nani gave a nervous laugh, then turned away quickly, not trusting his voice. He wanted to cry. Everything felt like it was slipping through his fingers.

---

Later, as the squad gathered in the meeting room, Nani sat stiffly at the table, the unopened file still in front of him.

Sky kept glancing at him.

"You alright?" Sky asked quietly.

Nani looked up too quickly. "What? Yeah. Fine. Just tired."

Sky didn’t look convinced. His eyes lingered on him longer than usual. “You’re acting… different.”

Nani swallowed hard. “It’s nothing.”

Mark, sitting nearby, frowned. “You didn’t yell at Junior today. You always yell at Junior before a meeting.”

“I’m—trying to change,” Nani said quickly.

Everyone exchanged glances. Even subtle things—MJ's usual annoyed tone, his sharp focus, the way he always adjusted his sleeves before speaking—were missing.

Nani tried to smile. “Seriously, I’m good.”

But even that felt wrong on MJ's face.

---

That night, lying in MJ’s bed at the HQ, Nani curled up tightly under the covers.

He had made it through the day—but barely. Every moment had been filled with fear of being found out. Every sentence he spoke felt like a lie. Every step was like walking on thin ice.

He missed MJ. Not just because he needed him—but because he loved him. Because MJ had always been his safe place. And now he had to become MJ... just to survive.

“I’m scared, bro,” he whispered into the dark. “I don’t know how to be you.”

He closed his eyes, pretending MJ was there beside him, like when they were younger and MJ would sneak into his room when Nani had nightmares.

“Please wake up soon,” Nani whispered. “I can’t do this without you.”

And in that silence, filled with doubt and pain, Nani felt the crushing weight of love, loss, and a promise he wasn’t sure he could keep.

---