threads of intimacy ?ˋ°?*?? eren jaeger

CH. 16

Something gentle. Something waiting.

YOU WALKED SLOWLY, the cool evening air brushing against your skin as you made your way back to the dorm. The quiet of the campus felt like a soft cocoon, insulating you from the noise of everything else. Your mind kept circling back to the conversation with Armin, the weight of his words still hanging in the air. You felt like you were carrying something heavy now, something delicate, and you didn't know how to set it down.

The breeze caught your hair, tugging it gently as your footsteps echoed through the empty campus. It was late, the sky stretched out above you, dark with only the faintest trace of twilight left. Your thoughts were tangled in the haze of what Armin had opened up about, and even the way Eren had looked at you during your talk, how everything felt slightly different now. You weren't sure if you were ready to understand it, but it was there.

As you rounded the corner near the dorm building, you froze, your foot coming to an abrupt halt. There, standing just a few paces away with his hands shoved into his jacket pockets, was Jean.

His presence was like an unexpected gust of wind, sudden and stirring. You hadn't seen him since that day in the library, when everything had felt like it teetered on the edge of something unspoken between you. You had barely processed it, hadn't figured out if you were angry with him, frustrated, or just... unsettled.

Jean's eyes locked onto yours as you stepped closer, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. He looked... different. His usual cocky energy was tempered by something quieter, a flicker of vulnerability that caught you off guard.

"Hey," he said, breaking the silence. His voice was casual, but there was an underlying tension to it. "You're out late."

You forced a smile, though it felt a little stiff. "Yeah, just getting back from a long day."

Jean nodded, but he didn't move, didn't take that easy step back you might've expected. Instead, he stayed rooted to the spot, studying you like he was trying to read something in your expression. He was good at that, wasn't he? Looking at you like he could see more than you wanted to let on.

You didn't know how to feel. You should probably just say something, anything, but your words were caught somewhere in your chest. Jean had a way of making you feel exposed, even when he wasn't trying to.

"Listen, about the other day..." Jean's voice was softer now, the teasing edge gone, replaced with something a little more serious. He shifted on his feet, clearly uncomfortable. "I didn't mean to cross a line in the library. I was just messing around."

You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden change in his tone. The apology — or at least the attempt at one — sounded a little too raw, like he was holding back more than he was letting on.

"You don't need to apologize," you said, your voice quiet. "It's fine."

But it wasn't fine, was it? The air between you two was still thick with the remnants of that conversation, the way his words had stung, the way you'd snapped at him.

Jean's lips twitched, like he was fighting a smile that didn't quite want to emerge. "I wasn't sure if you'd want to talk to me after what happened."

You shrugged, trying to shrug off the heaviness in your chest. "I wasn't sure either."

The space between you both felt too wide, even though he was standing right there in front of you. You felt like you could almost reach out and touch the tension, like it was tangible, wrapped around you both. But neither of you moved.

"I didn't mean it like that," Jean said, his voice soft but insistent. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad about anything. I just... I guess I got a little jealous."

There it was. The thing you hadn't expected him to say, the truth hanging out there in the open.

You looked at him, surprised by the bluntness. "Jealous?"

He nodded, his gaze slipping away for just a second before locking onto yours again. His shoulders were tense, his posture defensive, like he was preparing for some kind of fallout. But all you could do was stare at him, at the way his usual bravado was gone, replaced by something more vulnerable, something softer that made your heart skip.

"Yeah," he admitted, the word hanging between you. "I know it sounds dumb, but I didn't like how... close you and Eren were getting. And I didn't know how to deal with it. You two talk a lot. You really talk."

His eyes were searching yours now, as if trying to see if you understood, if you could read the hidden meaning behind his words.

"I'm not saying that it's bad or anything," he added quickly, his voice rushing, like he needed to clarify, to make it less of a thing. "I just... I guess I got insecure. I mean, I always feel like I'm the one left out, you know? And Eren — he's a good guy. But he's got this way about him, and it makes me wonder if I'm just, you know, not good enough."

Jean laughed a little, a dry, bitter sound that was far too easy for him to make. But it was clear, even through the humor, that there was something deeper he was burying under the surface.

The words hit you harder than you expected. You couldn't help but wonder if there was more he wasn't saying. There was a raw honesty in his admission, something that pulled you in despite yourself.

"I never thought about it like that," you said slowly, your voice soft with understanding. "I just... I don't know what to do with that either."

Jean raised an eyebrow, as if surprised by your response. "Yeah?"

You nodded, taking a small step closer. "Yeah. I guess I never really realized how much it bothered you."

There was a beat of silence, the kind that felt heavy with unspoken emotions. Jean's eyes softened, and for a moment, you saw something more in him than just the guy who teased you and cracked jokes.

"Guess we both have our issues," he said, the edge in his voice a little less sharp now. "But I don't want to make things weird between us. I like talking to you."

You felt a warmth flood your chest at his words, something like relief, but more complicated. Could this really be fixed?

"Well," you said with a small smile, your heart lightening a little. "I like talking to you, too. I just don't like feeling like it's a game."

Jean's lips twitched, a ghost of his old smirk playing at the edges of his mouth. "Game? Nah. But... maybe I need to stop acting like it is one, huh?"

You nodded, the tension in the air shifting, loosening just a little.

"Maybe," you said softly. And for the first time in what felt like a long while, you felt like you could breathe.

The silence between you felt different now, more comfortable, the kind of silence that wasn't filled with misunderstandings but with something more like understanding. There was still a lot you didn't say, but you could tell that the distance between you two had narrowed.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around, then," Jean said, his voice lighter now, almost casual again. "Take care, okay?"

You nodded, giving him a small smile. "You too, Jean."

He lingered a moment longer, as if he might say something else, but instead, he turned and started walking away, his hands still in his pockets, his shoulders a little less tense than when you first saw him.

You stood there for a moment, watching him go, before turning back toward your dorm. The air felt a little less heavy now, the weight of the conversation settling into something new. Something uncertain, but not necessarily bad.

You weren't sure where things were going with Jean, but you were starting to understand the edges of it. And for once, you didn't feel so lost.

You just felt... a little less alone.