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"Don't say it isn′t fairYou clearly weren't aware that you made me miserable"

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"Don't say it isn′t fair
You clearly weren't aware that you made me miserable"

Rain drums softly on the car roof, each drop like a cold whisper against the glass

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Rain drums softly on the car roof, each drop like a cold whisper against the glass. I lean back, my head resting against the seat, eyes closed, letting the steady rhythm blur the edges of my thoughts. Outside, the world is washed grey, drenched in a quiet storm but inside me, it's chaos.

He'll be there today. Saad. Just the thought sends a shiver down me, deeper than the chill of the rain. How do you ignore someone who's right there, standing across the room? How do you pretend their presence doesn't stir every scar you thought had healed?

He'll try. Of course, he will. He'll find a way to break through the wall I've built, to speak those words I don't want to hear. But I'm not ready. I don't want to face him. I don't want to look at him, not now, maybe not ever.

Because, where was he when I needed him most? Where was he when I was drowning, begging him silently not to go down that path of revenge?

Where was he when I was dying to be in his arms?

Where the fuck was he when I lost my everything?

Everything.

He didn't see any of it.

He was gone.

Left me behind.

So what does he want now?

The rain keeps falling, relentless and unforgiving. And all I want is to disappear, to vanish into the mist and never come back.

He says he loves me but where was this love when I actually needed it? Where was it when I was dying for it?

That time, all I wanted was him and he wasn't there.

He could have easily avoided going to jail but his ego was bigger than his love for me.

And I am not saying it, he proved it when he pulled that damn trigger and shot my Dad.

The soft patter of rain against the car roof is the only sound I let myself focus on. My eyes stay closed, but every drop feels like a countdown, closer and closer to the moment I can't avoid anymore.

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? Last updated: Jun 25 ?

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