Fever Dream

Kalena

My alarm went off at 5:48 a.m., and I wanted to cry.

I peeled myself out of bed slowly, trying not to wake her. Billie was curled up in the blankets, one arm outstretched like she'd reached for me in her sleep. Her face was soft, peaceful, lips parted slightly. God, she looked beautiful like that. Dreamy. Untouchable.

I leaned over and kissed her temple, then slipped into the bathroom and turned the water on hot.

The steam started to rise and I stepped under it, letting it soak into my skin. I had the usual pre-shoot routine running through my mind — hair, skincare, breakfast, coffee, outfit. I'd barely gotten to conditioner when I heard the bathroom door creak open behind me.

"Baby?"

I turned slightly, water cascading down my shoulders. "Hmm?"

Billie's voice was still thick with sleep. "Where are you going?"

"Savage shoot. Remember?"

She groaned. "I forgot that was today."

She came into the bathroom fully, rubbing her eyes. She was wearing one of my old Fenty robes — ironic, considering — and her hair was a messy halo around her head.

"You're really leaving me here all alone?"

"You've survived worse," I teased, rinsing my hair.

"No, I haven't," she pouted.

I smiled, grabbing a towel and stepping out. "Go back to bed, baby. I'll be done by three."

But she didn't move. She leaned against the sink, watching me as I dried off. Her eyes were sleepy and possessive all at once. "Let me come."

I paused. "To the shoot?"

She nodded. "Yes. I'll be quiet. I'll sit in the corner. I just... I wanna see you. In your element. And also maybe in very little clothing."

I gave her a look.

"Please," she begged, clasping her hands like she was praying. "Don't make me stay here like some housewife with abandonment issues."

"You'll be so distracting."

"I'll behave."

"You're lying."

"I'll try to behave."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. But you're not allowed to interrupt. Or touch me. Or make me laugh while I'm in lace."

Billie lit up, practically bouncing in place. "Yes. I'll be the best-behaved girlfriend in lingerie history."

"You're not the one in lingerie."

"I know, but I'll be fantasizing hard."

I tossed the towel at her head.

-

By the time we got to set, the studio was buzzing with music and movement — stylists rushing racks of silk and mesh down the hall, lighting techs fiddling with huge panels, and models with glowing skin and tiny robes sipping green juice like it was church wine.

Billie followed behind me, low-key in sweats, a cap, and her phone camera ready to take all the photos of me like a proud mom.

And the minute we walked in, I felt it.

Eyes.

Everywhere.

Specifically, on her.

"Holy shit," I heard one girl whisper. "That's Billie Eilish."