call me dan ? phan

31.5

  When he leaves I just sit there, and stare at the wall in front of me, thinking. Should I begin to trust Phil again? Give him another chance? Honestly, I don't know.

  I sit there and think for a long time. Now just about random things. And I hadn't realized how long I had sat there until I heard a knock on there door, which caused me to jump out of my trance and look towards it.

  "Come in." I say. When the door opens I see Chris.

  "Oh hey-" I say before being cut off when Chris suddenly rushes towards me and hugs me tightly. I hug him back, us just sitting there in each others embrace until Chris breaks the hug. Now just sitting next to me on the bed.

  "Sorry." He apologizes. "I just.. needed that." Chris looks down.

  "It's okay. I needed it too." I say. After a moment of silence I get Chris' attention. "I'm sorry Chris." He looks back up and into my eyes. "I'm so so sorry."

  He shakes his head, "No, Dan. It's okay, you don't have to say sorry. Well, it wasn't what you did wasn't really good, but you're okay now. That's all that matters."

  I chuckle, "I'm far from okay." I say quietly, but I know that Chris could hear me.

  I don't think that Chris really knew what to say to that so everything went quiet. But it was comfortable silence.

  "I found your note." Chris suddenly says. When I look at him he keeps his head down, not making eye contact. And when he does look up I can see tears in his eyes. But knowing Chris, I know he's trying so hard not to let them spill.

  "I'm such a bad friend." He says. "I never even noticed that you were feeling this way because I was too busy being a selfish dick and only thinking about my feelings. And the only thing I can say right now is I'm sorry Dan. I'm incredibly sorry. You're my best friend, you have and you always will be. I don't want to lose you."

  I smile, his words warming my heart. "It's okay Chris. It's not your fault, don't blame yourself." I say. "Like I said before, you're like a brother to me. I love you. I'm not going to leave you."

  "Promise?"

  "I promise."

  Chris smiles and hugs me again.

  "Hey Chris?" I ask, breaking away from the hug. "Do you mind if I can just be alone right now? I have a lot of things I need to think about."

  Chris hesitates on getting up, "I don't know, Dan." He says warily.

  "Chris, it's fine. I promised I wasn't going to leave you. Nothing's going to happen." I try to convince him. "Please."

  "Okay, then." Chris gets up from the bed. I can still see he's uncomfortable with leaving me alone.

  I look him in the eyes one last time, "Chris, I will be fine."

  He nods, turning away. Before he walks out the door he looks back at me, giving me one last smile before leaving and closing the door.

  I sink back in my bed, sighing. Looking over at the bedside table I see the clock says 19:35. And even though it's so early I feel exhausted from today.

  I turn off the lamp on the bedside table and close my eyes, falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

  Waking up, I'm hyperventilating , and sweating. Stupid fucking nightmares.

  I look at the clock again. 5:08 am.

   Sighing, I get out of bed, walking towards my door. When I get out of my room I go down the stairs and towards the kitchen to get a drink of water.

  When I get in the kitchen I jump. "PJ?" I question.

  I see PJ sat at the table eating cereal out bowl. "Oh.. Hi Dan." He says awkwardly.

  "What are you doing here at 5 in the morning?" I ask, wiping the sleep out of my eyes. Is this a dream?

  PJ looks offended, "What? I can't come over to my ex-friends house and eat his cereal?" He questions.

  I look at him in disbelief, "No."

  PJ shrugs, "Well I was about to leave anyways." He says, getting up. "Nice to see you Dan." He walks by me and towards the door.

  "You're not even gonna clean up your mess?" I call after him, noticing he left the bowl of cereal and the box.

  "Bye Dan." He says walking out the door."

  I think I'm just gonna go back to bed.

* * *

 Okay wow, I think that was one of the only times ive ended a chapter on a happy note. This is new for me.

  Anyways hope you enjoyed that chapter. I kinda liked it cause it was different, even though it really wasn't the best written chapter ever. Sorry about that. This was completely unplanned.

 Like I usually write more serious and sad ones, but even though this one is still kind of emotional, its still light hearted. So I liked that.

  But now for the reason I made this semi-long chapter is because 'Transgender' just hit oNE MILLION READS. HOLY CATS.

  THANK YOU GUYS SO SO MUCH. I LOVE YOU ALL. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND MAKES ME SO HAPPY SO THANK YOU!!!!

  byyeee xx