wild and running || a.b. (series on hold)

Chapter 29

"Then why did you hurt me so many times?" I asked him. It almost looked like he physically broke with the words. "I've regretted that every day. I hope to God that I never hurt a girl like you again. I deeply apologize for the numerous times I've hurt you." He says. His voice a bit shakier than before. 

"Don't make this easy, I want you to mean it." I say quietly. 

"I do mean it, Ivory." His voice raises a bit as a glass film covers his eyes. 

"You ruined the past years of my life. I've never gotten over it. You just left, and you never talked to me again." I choked. "I know." He says while covering his face. I sighed and a hot tear ran down my cheek. "You took away my happiness." I said so quietly it was barely audible.

"I'm trying to bring it back. I promise you, I'm trying to make everything the way it was before." He looks at me and a tear floods down his cheek. 

I've only seen him cry once, when his grandmother died.

"I don't know what to say." I whimper while wiping away a tear.

"Sometimes you don't have to say anything at all." He responds.

The words coming off his mouth made my insides go hallow. I've heard them recently, but from another person I love.

He walks closer to me and I stay stationary. "Tears are words the mouth can't say nor can the heart bare." he whispers. His spearmint cologne floods my head and memories rush over me like a tidal wave. I look into his eyes. The same eyes I've looked in so many times before. The same eyes tha haunt my dreams at night. The same eyes that lit a fire in my heart. The same eyes that showed me the meaning of happiness and hope. The same eyes that ripped apart my heart so many times I didn't know what to do with myself. I closed my eyes, I couldn't take it anymore.

His hand brushed against my cheek, and I flinched at the touch. He immediately dropped his hand. "I hurt you that badly?" He questions and I open my eyes. His sad expression magnifies dramatically. I swallow and turn my head in pain. 

I don't say a word.

His breath catches in the back of his throat. "I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry, Em." The use of the old nickname uncovers more old memories. His arms wrap around me and hold me tightly. I hug him back and my tears fall on to his shoulder. "I've been waiting for you. I'll wait as long as you need me to. I just want you." He whispers as his lips brush against my ear. 

I hug him tighter. I haven't seen him in years. I haven't talked to him, heard his voice. "I know you're with Andy, but know I'm here. For you. There will always be an empty piece of my heart. It's empty because you have it. Can I ask you a favor?" He asks.

"Anything." I sob as endless tear drops fall on his white button up shirt. He's always has such good style. "Don't ever forget what we had." He says while playing with the ends of my hair. "I never have." I responded. 

"Can I ask you another favor?" His lips trail across my jawline. "What is it?" I whisper. "Will you fix me?" His nose pressed against mine. "Just one kiss. Please. I know it's not right, but I need you." One of his hands wraps around my waist, pulling us together. His other hand cups my cheek so gently and so sweetly. 

"Let me love you goodbye." The smell of his spearmint mints bring back so many moments where we've been in the same position. "I can't." I choke. His thumb trails across my bottom lip. The pain surging through my body was unbearable. 

I need it just as much as he does.

"Please." He begs and his lips brush against mine. I suck in a breath.

I can't do this.

But I love him.

I need him.

When will I get a chance like this again? To be able to do what I've spent nights crying over constantly for the past years. I need to heal my pain. It might be for the best.

I tangle my hands in his hair, like I always used to, and I placed my hand on his chest. He hums at my actions and his lips brush against mine once again. My curiosity flows to question whether he still wears his spearmint Chapstick of not. 

"Hey." I whisper against his lips. "Hello." He whispers back with a cute smirk. "Do you still wear your spearmint Chapstick?" I laugh softly. He chuckles and presses our bodies closer together. 

"You're about to find out." 

-

OML

HOLY JESUS 😂

Well. Let me know what you think in the comments below! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I really appreciate all the recent votes and reads! Stay beautiful xxx

//emma//