A Little Bit Ninja

22: To Flee or Not to Flee

And if by some miracle, he wants to welcome me warmly into his home, or his hideout as the case may be, I couldn’t possibly live a life entrenched in crime and violence. Not after what my mom went through to free so many people from that, not after she freed his real daughter from that.

I looked back into Anton’s bright eyes. I was wearing my Christian Louboutin ballet flats—easier to do ninja moves in than platforms—so I had to crane my neck to see into them. An internal war raged there, belied by his cloudless sky colored pupils. I was afraid to ask what the war was about, afraid because I suspected he was trying to decide whether to obey orders.

I ducked my head, turning my concentration onto my outfit instead. My purple, catholic school girl ensemble didn’t have the ability to determine my fate. That made it much easier to play with my loose neck tie than face Anton.

He tucked one of my carefully crafted corkscrew curls behind my ear, to see my expression better before breaking the silence.

“You know what that paternity test says, don’t you?” he asked, more to confirm a theory, than to receive an answer.

At least I knew The Boss’s next move, to bring me in. And I knew my next move, to avoid being brought in.  And after that…I don’t know. The Bad Guy knows where I live. It’d be all too easy for him to come take me while I sleep, even if I manage to keep from being kidnapped here among his henchmen.

I nodded at Ant without taking my eyes off of the button on my blouse that I now played with.

“So…what are you going to do then?” he asked hesitantly.

I shrugged, slowly exhaling, afraid that if I told him there is no freaking way that I was going to see Commander in Chief of the Mafia he’d kick my butt, and then load me up in the Escalade anyway. I know, all this self doubt really wasn’t like my usual confident me, but my ninja self-esteem had taken a beating this week, when I couldn’t land a hit on either Anton or Abe.      

Ant ducked down until his eyes were level with mine, so I couldn’t avoid looking at him.

“I’m not going to force you into anything. Just let me know what you decide.”

I looked at him skeptically. He barely knew me from Eve. Why in the world would he go against his guardian, and incur the wrath of the mafia just to help me? It didn’t make sense.  Not even if he was a crazy Thriller Girl fan, or if he thought I was cute. Those weren’t reasons to risk his butt for me.      

“Why?” I asked finally, “Why would you help me? I haven’t been all that nice to you in the five days I’ve known you. Certainly not nice enough for you to put yourself on the line like that.”

He continued to hold my eyes, allowing me to see the isolation, fear, confusion, and pain that he’d been feeling for most of his life.

“Because I never got a choice. I got dumped into this when I was too young to do anything about it. I’ve wished for a family like yours since as long as I can remember. I’m not about to tear somebody away from that.”

But my life isn’t as perfect as he fantasizes. My mom was taken from me when I was ten. My brother carries around the guilt for the deaths of his biological mama and sister, not to mention everybody else that died from his baba’s bomb. My dad isn’t even home enough for me to know what kind of movies he likes, let alone for him to learn my clothing size.

And to top it all off, I’m nearly seventeen and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I know, that sounds like a really lame thing to complain about, but what if I never find a guy that wants me enough get past Abe’s terrorizing test, or that would still like me even if I dressed like a boy and didn’t wear make-up?