Empathy [Josh Dun - Twenty One Pilots]

THIRTEEN

Maybe Tyler was right. Maybe this was all meant to be, part of a Greater Plan they had no power on. Maybe God had chosen them for this exact reason, and they had to work together to find out the truth. Maybe all this was their purpose, no matter the consequences or the hurt it would bring about, no matter how hard it was to go through. They had to help others.

"All right," Josh finally whispered, more to himself than anything. "Let's do this."

Tyler nodded, patting him on the back. "And then, we'll figure out how you can get rid of this thing. I promise."

We he came back home that evening, Josh was completely out of his mind. Every little thing seemed to mix up in his head to form a confused ball of undecipherable feelings. The boy couldn't even distinguish one from the other. He couldn't tell if he was happy that he had found in Tyler a friendship like no other, someone to share thoughts about their Gift with, or if he was sad that this meant his best friend actually had to go through such amount of pain his entire life. He couldn't tell if he was anxious about Mark's disappearance, or hopeful because his Gift might allow him to find clues that could help the case. Then again, hopeful, or fearful that the weight of finding his old friend was on his shoulders now? 

Tyler was right: Josh definitely needed some rest, especially after he had spend the previous night reading instead of sleeping. So, when he entered the house, he was planning on going straight to bed, exhaustion pushing him towards the staircase. But something caught his eyes before he even got to take the first step. A small white square on the piece of furniture right underneath the coat rack. 

Intrigued, Josh walked towards it. This piece of furniture usually only held keys or mail, but this was just a piece of paper on which the boy instantly recognized his mother's handwriting. But the address she had written down didn't ring any bell, and Josh frowned.

"Honey, you're home!" Josh jumped. He hadn't even heard his mother coming, so focused he was on that piece of paper that was actually giving him quite a bad vibe. Was that his Gift speaking, or was he just too tired? "Dinner will be ready soon," Momma Dun continued. "Call down your brother, will you?" She stopped in her tracks when she saw what her son was holding, and her face fell. Josh raised an eyebrow.

His mother looked guilty for a second, and she looked down, obviously hesitating to speak the truth. Finally, she took a deep breath. "This... This is your father's new address, and before you get mad at me don't forget that I'm not forcing you to do anything nor will I be disappointed if you don't follow my advice but I just..." She paused, breathing up again after such a long sentence. "He asked me to give it to you, because he wants to see you and your brother."

"Why doesn't he visit, then?" Josh asked, a little more agressive than intended. "Sorry mom, but he's never visited us after you guys divorced, and now he pretends he wants to see us? It might be true, but it's also a little late, don't you think?"

Laura sighed. "Honey, I know... And that's why I'm not forcing you to do anything about it. And he's not forcing you either. He told me he would understand if... He's still your dad, Joshua? That's all I'm saying. At least think about it? Please?"

Josh stayed silent for a second, pondering the situation. It took everything in him not to throw a tantrum again, because the topic of his father always sparked a flame in him, burning with bitterness and spite. His dad had abandoned them; his brother and him, but also his mom. And above all, his late little sister. And Josh couldn't bear the thought of him getting away with that so easily. The man had done so much pain all around him, and now he expected things to go back to some kind of normalcy? Josh felt like throwing up.

But in front of him stood that woman, that incredibly strong woman. She had went through very low lows, had battled depression and alcohol addiction while still managing to raise two teenage boys. Even though things hadn't always been easy, the three of them were closer than ever and had finally found balance in their family life, most of that thanks to her. Josh could feel his mother deeply wanted him to bond with his dad again, and he certainly didn't feel like letting her down. 

Slowly, he folded the piece of paper and slipped it in his pocket. "All right, mom. I'll think about it," he said gently. He sure didn't feel like seeing his father right away, but in the near future... 

"Oh, honey..." Laura let out, visibly much more enthusiastic than her son. She took a few steps forwards and hugged her boy tight. The smile on her face, in that moment, was certainly worth it. She gave him a little tap on the back when breaking the embrace. "Now call down your brother and go wash your hands for dinner, okay?"

Instinctively, Josh laid a hand on his stomach. He still didn't feel well. After apologising profusely and reassuring his mother - who still tried to raise a hand to his forehead to make sure he wasn't having a fever - he finally started walking up the stairs, not wanting to have dinner tonight. After a few steps, though, he stopped again. "Mom?" he called out, bending over the handrail to look for her. When her head peaked out, he continued, weirdly anxious. "Can I go to church with you on Sunday?"

His mother was obviously taken aback, but not as surprised as Josh himself. He didn't know what took him, but he felt like it was the right thing to do. "Of course, honey," Laura finally answered, gracing him with her bright smile again, and the boy returned the favor.

Church had never felt like the answer to Josh, but after all that was said that day, either with Tyler or his mom, about his Gift or his dad, the boy felt tiny, and helpless. But the thought of something bigger, of a Greater Plan that made things the way they were, the simple thought that maybe things were meant to be this way, made him feel warmer inside. Call it Hope or God, Josh kinda liked it.

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Short filler chapter. But I promise you things are about to go down!