68 Days And Counting

Chapter Eight: Live In Iowa In A Ranch House Beside Gigi Hadid.

Sam was in the kitchen already dressed and his curly hair wet and stringy. He was looking over the pancakes on the stove and I sat down at the island, looking through my phone. My mind flashed back to Caleb this morning. "What's wrong?" Sam asked me, a concern look on his face.

I locked my phone, placing it on the table. "It's just Caleb. I'm worried about him."

"What's there to worry about Hazel? Caleb's Caleb."

"No, no, Caleb isn't just...Caleb. He's the kind of guy that hides his pain behind-"

"A smile," Sam finished off, turning his back to me as he turned off the stove and put the last of the pancakes on a plate. He pushed the plate towards me and went to the cabinet to give me the bottle of syrup. I went to the fridge grabbing milk as we settled ourselves beside each other on the island eating. "Caleb doesn't like people looking at him as if he's the saddest person in the world."

"I know. It's just all these signs that's something is wrong with him."

"Like what?"

"The other day he called me right and he had been at a girl's house after they did stuff."

"So he had a one night stand?"

"Yeah," I said, pausing as I took a sip of the milk from the glass cup. "Did you know that?"

Sam ran a hand through his wet hair, looking conflicted at the news. "No. Do you know if this has been happening often?"

"No I didn't ask."

"I get that he does it once in a while but Caleb can do what he wants Hazel. He may not act like one but he's an adult."

"I get that. He's...actually almost 18. Remember? His birthday is next month. We're 18. You're almost 19. But even after his call today I feel like Caleb's..."

"He's what?"

I struggle to find the proper word but frown when I do. "Lonely. I feel like Caleb is lonely." Sam stiffened and he stopped eating. He placed his fork on top of a pancake, staring intensely at a spot on the marble counter. He didn't say anything but I felt the need to continue talking about my observation.

"I mean he has you. You're like his brother. He has friends. He has his real brother, Leo. He has your family. He has his Tia Maria. But somehow even with all these people in life I think that he thinks he's missing something. However, he doesn't want to tell us because he hides that behind jokes, smiles and laughter."

Sam closed his eyes briefly and I could tell fists clenched underneath the table because his arm flexed and his veins protruded underneath the surface of his skin. "Shit."

"What?"

"How did I not notice that? He's my best friend and I couldn't even tell. He lost his parents at a young age, he lost the love of his life. Of course he's still going through something," Sam got up from his stool and started to pace the kitchen, muttering to himself. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I can't even help him when he helped me. I don't know how."

"Hey, hey, hey," I grabbed Sam by the arm and pulled him towards me to stop moving, to stop making the situation more complex for him. "Time, Sam. All Caleb needs is time. Yes he has distractions but he needs time. He needs us and even if we are in different countries we will still be there for him. We will always be there for him. You'll always be there for him."

Sam didn't say anything for a couple of minutes. His eyes flickered around the room before locking on mine. He leaned in, his lips pressing against my forehead, his touch still lingering even when he pulled away. He grabbed his phone and instantly started typing in it. I heard the sound of him calling someone on speaker. "SAMMY!" Caleb yelled into the phone.