31 Days of August

Day 13: 抖阴社区 a scene with only dialogue, no narrative.

"Ugh! I can't believe you!"

"Me? What about you!"

"I didn't do anything, jerk! You were the one who landed us here!"

"Sure, blame the boyfriend. Always a smart move."

"Shut up, idiot!"

"Why don't you shut up for once. Can you do that?"

"You are the most obnoxious person I have ever met, you know that?"

"Well, I do now, thanks to your oh-so trusty skills of talking!"

"Excuse me? What about my talking?"

"Well, your talking was what got us here in the first place!"

"The talking wasn't the issue--it was all your fault, anyways!"

"How was I supposed to know who she was?"

"It's called 'asking your girlfriend'!" 

"I didn't know she was crazy!"

"That's why should've asked me!"

"I'm sorry, geez."

"Yeah, well 'sorry' doesn't get us out of this mess, now does it?"

"You have to admit though, your talking didn't help."

"Okay, so maybe making up a fake excuse as to why we couldn't come in wasn't the best plan, but neither was actually accepting her invitation!"

"I didn't know she was a crazy lady! I swear! I thought that she was just another one of your neighbors!"

"It's twenty-thirteen, loser. Who the hell actually talks to their neighbors anymore?"

"Uh, normal people?"

"Nobody, that's who. And you know why they don't talk to their neighbors?"

"Why?"

"Because they don't want to accidentally get trapped in their neighbors' houses as prisoners, listening to stories about their cats--dead and alive!"

"I said I'm sorry!"

"Well, unless you can get us out of here without getting mauled by five cats, 'sorry' isn't going to cut it!"

"Kids! Are you two all right in there? You've been in the bathroom together for a while now! Wouldn't want you to do anything reckless!"

"Shit."

"She knows we're here. You had better get us out of here!"

"But she's your neighbor!"

"Oomph!"

"Ouch!"

"There you two are! You forgot to lock the door, sillies! Well, get up from the ground, kids! I just found Mr. Paws! He was hiding from you two sneaky love birds!"

"Look, ma'am, we'd really love to stay, but she just remembered that she has to go home and feed her iguana, isn't that right, babe?"

"Uh, yeah. He's right. My iguana...Iggy. We need to feed him."

"I don't like iguanas. They're so small and not...cats. I love cats, did you two know that?"

"No, you haven't men--ouch!"

"What he means to say is that we've noticed. You have a lot cats here."

"I do, don't I? Do you like cats, sonny?" 

"Yeah. Totally. Cats are cool. But right now we have to go to her place to feed Izzy, the iguana."

"Iggy."

"What?"

"My iguana's name is Iggy."

"That's what I said."

"No, you said Izzy."

"I don't like iguanas. I like cats. I love cats!"

"We know."

"Oh, how cute! Speaking at the same time! I remember when I first got Mr. Fuddles and Ms. Fluffer. They were so in love. Are you two in love?"

"Yeah."

"Totally."

"How nice! Young love! Such a beautiful thing!"

"Totally."

"Yeah."

"Do you two want to meet Tammy? She's really pretty, and has her mother's fur, and father's eyes! Such a beauty!"

"Uh, we have to go and feed Izzy."

"Iggy."

"Right. Iggy. Whatever. Her iguana."

"Oh. Such a shame. Don't you two want to stay longer?"

"N--ouch! Stop elbowing me, would'ya?"

"We really have to get back to my house. I can't even remember the last time I fed Izzy!"

"Iggy."

"Right. Iggy."

"Oh! So soon! Well, I hope that you two come back so that you can meet more of my kitties! They love vistors!"

"Yeah, mayb--ugh! You need to stop doing that!"

"My bad."

"It was your bad."

"Uh, yeah, we have to go before Iggy dies, but, uh, it was nice seeing you again!"

"You too, dear! And it was nice meeting you, young man!"

"Yeah, you too, ma'am!"

"Such a nice boy! Almost as nice as Memow! Such a nice kitty!"

"Yeah, well, bye!"

"What she said--bye!"

"Bye, kids!"

"..."

"..."

"I thought we'd never get out of there alive!"

"You doubt my skills, babe!"

"Skills? What are you talking about? You have no skills!"

"Yeah, I do!"

"No, you don't! Besides, I'm the one who got us out of there!"

"No, you're the one that talked too much!"

"I did not!"

"Yes, you did!"

"I did talk a lot, didn't I?"

"Yeah."

"But you weren't very helpful, either."

"You're right. I wasn't."

"Let's make a deal to never go into a cat lady's house again, okay?"

"Okay."

"That was pretty bad."

"But not as bad as Izzy's probably feeling right now! You should really feed him, you know."

"Ha. Funny. Oh, and his name was Iggy."

"Whatever."

"Jerk."

"Loser."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."