BITE ME ? C. G. 〖 #wattys2016 〗

Chapter 30

I want you to know, first off, that I don't want to leave you. It was never my intention to get bitten (obviously) but if you ever go off blaming me, remember that.

If there is a life after death, I will miss you just as much as you're missing me.

But that doesn't mean kill yourself, dufus. I love you because you're strong and caring, not because you're grieving.

Fuck, I'm not good at this sappy stuff.

I could see that she was trying to insert humor into her words, but I felt numb with all the emotions shooting through me. I picked up post-it number six, which was the color of a granny smith apple.

You told me to bite you. I would never. I am not a monster that craves for flesh. Not yet.

What I crave for is humanity. And I'm slowly losing mine with each passing day, as I inch closer to a day in which I become a monster. So on the inside, it's been driving me insane.

My human conscious will cease to be in two days time. And then the walkers will use my body as a puppet.

I had dreams about killing you in a possessed fury. It was that night I woke up crying, remember that? Well, that was every time, but for then, you were there.

Do you remember when we were playing tag in the woods? I wish we could go back to those days.

Damn, now I'm crying too.

Considering all the things we have to deal with nowadays, I think we've both grown a lot. Two months ago, I was too innocent, too soft.

It's always been that way. But after I got bit, something changed on the inside. Something other than the infection.

I think it was bravery.

Because... I used to think that every time I loved somebody, they'd get hurt. But I'm willing to take that risk.

The most painful things are what that make us human.

But I guess what I'm trying to say is that, umm, I love you a lot. Not just as a friend. I've gotten those thrilling fluttery feelings in my chest, and I don't think I really knew how important those were until now.

We could've been something, Carl.

Damn walkers.

I guess you can think of my death as a warped way of moving away. Whenever you're feeling down about it, revisit my words here. I guess. I mean, if that makes you feel any better.

I think I have to go now. The walkers are starting to get louder and I could've sworn that the couch blocking the door moved.

Good luck and, umm, don't forget to loosen up a bit :)

I set down the last bundle of paper. Dried tears glazed my face.

I reread her words in a frenzy, sweat growing warm on my face. That's it?! I fell down onto the mattress. Kee could never speak another word to me, and that was the most troublesome part of it.

My gaze fell on the empty envelope. I snatched it, and felt a shock of surprise as I realized that it wasn't all that empty.

The cold, metallic curvature of her police badge poked out of the slit.

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A/N 12-17-16: Mkay so I'm just going to clear this up real quick. I mention tons of times during the chapter that she's using more than one sticky but people keep commenting that she fit it all on one? He's been flipping through a bundle of multicolored post-its. I can see how it could be confusing, but man, seeing the same comments over and over again gets a little annoying after a while.

*deep breath* sorry. 

Thoughts on this chapter?

QOTD: Favorite author?
AOTD: Rick Riordan 🙌

RQOTD: "Grief is the price we pay for love." -Queen Elizabeth II

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Chapters left:
3

Word count:
1202

Created 4-28-16
Edited 5-31-16