In These Walls (Newt x reader)

Twenty-two

~

I was wheeled into one of the back rooms of the Med-jack Hut. On the table, Ben was strapped down.  

"Five minutes, (y/n)." Newt told me and I nodded as he shut the door. I knew he would be waiting outside for me. 

"Hey Ben." I said quietly. Ben struggled against the straps that pinned him to the table. "I know it's a bad time, and I know you're angry, but you need to think about this. Calm down." Ben growled, looking to me.

"I know the truth now, (y/n), all of it. How can I not be angry?" I sighed, pushing my hands on the wheels of my wheelchair to move closer to him. 

"You have to let go of the past, Ben. We aren't the same people anymore, things have changed and we have to grow with that." Ben frowned at me. 

"It's all his fault, (y/n). Thomas helped put us in here, helped drive us insane. He doesn't even belong! He wasn't supposed to come here!" My mind went blank for a moment. I had realized at breakfast Tommy was the boy in my dream that had watched me when I was in the tube, but was he also a part helping WICKED put us here? 

"Ben, he didn't know." I whispered. 

"But he still watched us, I can guarantee that." 

"He can't change the past, but he's different now. Tommy is not the same person he was before the Maze anymore, just like right now you're not the same Ben." I smiled sadly at Ben. He scowled at me

"I am the same Ben, that's what you don't understand." 

"I do understand. A Griever stung you in the Maze. It's messing with your brain." Ben shook his head. 

"I know what I saw. Thomas is not who you think he is, (y/n), he's just as much of a monster as WICKED." 

"There's nothing we can do about it Ben, nothing." Ben's face softened. 

"There is. You have to kill him." I frowned at him, furrowing my eyebrows. 

"You know I can't do that." Ben scoffed. 

"You don't even care that I'm your brother, that's why you won't kill him. You like Thomas better than me, don't you?" Tears began to well up in my eyes

"Ben, no, please, you have to know that's not true. We've known each other for so long. You were my first friend here. I-" Ben yanked his right arms and the strap broke off. 

"But it is true, (y/n)." Ben began working to get the strap off of his left hand. I slowly moved my wheelchair back. Fear filled me, but I wasn't ready to call Newt, not yet. 

"Ben? What are you doing?" Ben got both hands free, then started on his legs. I wheeled for the door, but when my hand reached the knob, I was yanked back. 

"Why does everyone always lie to me?" Ben had me in a headlock, a gentle one, it wasn't hurting me but I couldn't move. "You know before the Maze, I had a partner too? Her name was Lea. She was real pretty and sweet. She always drew with me. I loved her, God, I did. One day, they started testing on her, and she didn't make it. The day after she died, they put me in the Maze, made me forget about her, but now I remember. Her eyes were the most beautiful blue..." I realized Ben was crying as he held me.

"I'm sorry Ben, I really am."

"You don't understand, (y/n). How would you feel if someone took Newt away from you?" I paused. The doorknob slowly started to twist. 

"I... I would feel empty, like something was missing. I'd feel alone."

"Exactly. Because partners are linked, like best friends, remember? But WICKED didn't tell you about the feeling after your partner dies, the unbearable weight of it." A sick feeling came to my stomach as I tilted my head, softly gasping. 

"You... you aren't only mad at Thomas. You knew what would happen if you attacked him." Ben didn't answer as the door opened. 

"Goodbye (n/n)." A new wave of sadness hit me as he used the old nickname. 

"Ben, put her down." Newt commanded, his eyes searching mine in worry. Ben didn't say a word, he only placed me back in my chair. As Newt and Alby restrapped him to the table, Ben didn't struggle.  Once he was back on the table, Newt wheeled me out of the room. Alby closed the door behind us. 

~

 I was sitting on my previous Med-jack bed. Newt had apologized for leaving me in too long, saying he went to get Alby for help with Ben. 

"I'm okay." I whispered, leaning against Newt's shoulder, but being careful of my head injury. 

"What even happened while you were in there? You said he wouldn't hurt you." 

"Ben didn't hurt me. He only talked to me. Ben claimed Tommy caused all of this, that he helped put us here. He told me to kill Tommy." I heard Newt's breath hitch as he played with my fingers. 

"What did tell him?" 

"That I couldn't. That's when Ben broke the straps off of his arms and legs. I thought he was gonna hurt me at first, but he only put me in a headlock to keep me in place. He told me about this girl named Lea, his partner before the Maze. They tested on her and she didn't make it, so the next day they put him in the Maze, made him forget her. Ben asked me how I would feel if I had lost you, and I said I would feel empty, alone. And..." I took my head off of Newt's shoulder, feeling the tears come. "Ben knew what he was doing when he attacked Tommy, or at least part of him knew. He didn't say it, but he wants to die rather than live without Lea. Newt, we're just doing what he wants." I had begun to cry, wiping at my eyes. Newt wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close to him. He whispered apologies to me, kissing at my forehead and temple, but nothing could take away the guilt I felt.

~ Time Skip ~

All the Gladers were gathered around one of the entrances of the Maze. I sat farther back, but not so far that I couldn't see. We were all waiting for Minho to bring Ben. 

As Minho walked across the Glade with Ben, the Gladers parted. Newt at the same time brought out a long pole. At the end was a leather collar that Newt hooked around Ben's neck. 

"Please! You have to listen to me!" I noticed a little ways away, Tommy and Chuck were also watching. Newt and the other Keepers grabbed at the pole.  Dan was there to take my place in pushing the pole along since I wasn't able to do so. As the doors groaned, beginning to close,  the boys pushed the stick forward, making Ben walk with it. 

"Please!" He was passed the doors, and they closed with an aching slow pace. Ben cried out again once the doors were almost closed. The leather collar came away from Ben and the boys pulled the pole in. Ben turned, looking at the Glade one more time. I began to cry as the doors closed, knowing I would never see him again. 

Original Publish Date: September 20, 2016